Page 48 of Playing Games

“Oh, Acer, we all know, buddy. You and Julia are theonlypeople who don’t know, and I mean that with every literal fiber of my being.” I point back down the street. “You see the security bouncer guy?”

He nods.

“Even he knows.”

“Well, fuck! What am I supposed to do now? Just go back in there and act like everything is the same as it’s always been?”

I shrug. “That part is up to you. How do you handle being in love?”

He scoffs. “If I fucking knew that, I wouldn’t be asking you. I mean, what would you do?”

I say the only truth I can and the first thing that comes to mind—Lexi.

“I’m still trying to figure it out, Ace. Just like you.”

Monday, June 9th

Lexi

Ginger packs up her notebook and headphones and fifty-five snack wrappers, while I put away everything I’ve brought to the lab with me today. It’s going on eight o’clock, and I’m ready to go home and enjoy some solitude.

At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself after a week of not seeing Blake. The last time I saw him was the Sunday night that ended with his face between my legs. And the last time I spoke to him was via text on Thursday while I was in my meeting with Dr. Blevin’s PhD cohort.

I didn’t try to reach out to him all weekend. But that’s probably a good thing.

Though, you certainlywantedto respond to all five texts he sent you…

I internally shake my head at myself. Blake’s effect on me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced with anyone else. When he’s near me, I don’t think straight. I get caught up in pheromones and hormones and straight moans, and I lose my mind. I let myself get distracted from school and from myself and from the complicated part of being several years older thanhim and the fact that he’s the star freaking quarterback of Dickson University’s football team.

I forget who I am and what I want and how unconcerned I am with having a relationship or companionship or for someone else’s feelings altogether.

But given a little distance and time, I’m finding my rhythm again, settling into keeping to myself and my computer and working on graduating from Dickson with my final doctorate and moving on with my life.

It’s business as usual.

And I’m happy about it. Really. I am.

I think.

“Man, Lexi.” Ginger lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t believe we only have a month and a half left of school before we have to go out in the real world and do real-world things. Can you?”

I shake my head. These days, I can’t believe a lot of things.

“I have three weeks’ worth of work left to cram in a two-week bag, but I’m not panicking. See?” she asks, widening her eyes in what she thinks is a calm expression. “This is me…not panicking.”

“Oh yeah.” I laugh. “You look calm.”

“Yes. I’m calm. Calm, calm,calm.”

“Ginger, it’s going to be okay.”

“Are you sure, Lexi? Because it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”

Ironically enough, I know what she means—though, for me, it has absolutely nothing to do with school.

I know I’ve been avoiding Blake, but it also feels like he’s been avoiding me. And, as it turns out, I don’t like that very much at all.

“I am sure, Ginger.” I try my hand at comforting her. “I think, from what I can tell, all of this won’t feel so important anymore when we get out in the real world. Out there, there are real problems and real solutions, and none of this performance art the university puts us through.”

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