“And you didn’t want to?” I ask, looking at the worry on his face.
“I don’t know. On my medication I get depressed easily, but my brain slows down. Off it I have all this unnecessary energy. I run and swim and it isn’t enough. The diet sucks. I just wish I was normal and could concentrate and stop moving.” I place my hand over his.
“You seem pretty still right now.” He looks down at my hand and smiles.
“I always have time to sit still for a pretty girl.” His smile is from ear to ear. Definitely a ladies’ man at the least.
“Stop it.” I laugh, hitting him on the arm and then shaking my hand – I didn’t expect his bicep to be that rock hard. “I look like Quasimodo. Look at my big eye.” He laughs this time as I point to my swollen face.
“You know who Quasi is. Does that count as a memory?” I think about it for a moment. It’s hard to explain.
“I don’t know how to explain it, maybe it’s like muscle memory, like I know one plus one is two. I just know.” His features soften as he thinks about what I’ve said.
“Do you miss not knowing who you are?” he asks.
“I can’t miss what I don’t remember, but it’s strange because I keep thinking, shouldn’t I want to try and find out who my family is? Who I am? I was obviously beaten, shouldn’t I be afraid of a bunch of strange guys? Yet being around you all makes me feel safe, like everything will be okay.” I feel like an idiot hearing myself say that five strangers make me feel safe, especially after looking at myself in the mirror.
“It isn’t strange. I was third here at Mumma B’s, Maximus was here and so was Levi. I was scared, and I was naughty. We later figured out that it was my ADHD and PTSD, but Levi, just a kid himself, told me that first night that tomorrow is a new day, and that I had him now, and as long as we had someone who had our back we would be fine. He didn’t know me, he didn’t know how long I would be staying, he just knew he would be my person. Now we are all each other’s people – brothers. We fight like brother’s do but no matter what I do, right or wrong, they support me. So we don’t need to know you, or you us. We are your people now, no matter what.” I believe him. I wonder how I was lucky enough that they found me.
“What if I get my memory back?” I ask the question that keeps running through my head.
“Just let anyone try to keep us away from you. Why do you think they placed you here? Marlene has been around awhile. When she saw Rory she knew she knew his face, and it didn’t take her long to figure out how. She has worked with Beth for many years.”
“Are you back with your parents?” I could say I don’t want to push but it would be a lie, I want to know everything about him, what makes him tick.
“Carmen and Rick, are my parents in every sense of the word except biological. I can’t wait until they meet you.” I smile. “How about we unpack your clothes, that way it gives me a real excuse to look through your underwear and it not look creepy.”
We spend some time folding my clothes and packing them away. Rocky makes a point to embarrass Maximus by throwing some of my underwear his way. I would pretend to be upset and pout at Rocky and he would apologise to Maximus. Eventually we’re called out for dinner. I take a deep breath when Rocky leaves the room, forgetting Maximus is still here. He surprises me by standing by my side, holding out his hand. I look at him and down to his hand, he nods. The guys told me he doesn’t talk; they didn’t say anything else. I thread my fingers through his and he leads me from the room. I just hope whoever comes for me doesn’t take them away. They’re the only reason I haven’t lost what is left of my mind.
I never intended to open up to JD, but when she was lying next to me with her hand on mine, it was like the words just wouldn’t stop coming out – like word vomit. When she was curious about my biological parents, I needed to change the subject so I suggested we pack away her clothes. My legs tap under the table and Levi shoots me a look. He always seems to know when something is up with one of us. He raises a brow at me and I look over to the kids so he thinks that’s all that’s wrong. I instantly know he doesn’t buy it.
Dawson, the youngest, is fussing, and Beth calmly tries to find out what is wrong with him. His crying does put me on edge, but I have learned some breathing exercises. His sister Emmy is colouring with Rory. Joining us, Damien talks Mercer’s ear off about some moves he should teach him next time. Mercer may come across as a tough guy full of anger, but he has a way with younger kids.
When JD and Maximus enter the room, we all turn to look at them. Well, all of us besides the three little kids. He is holding JD’s hand. Maximus hates being touched, – yet somehow he has managed to hold her hand, and I know he didn’t ask her. When we found him Sunday night, he was in a bad place – finding a body on the beach would do that to a person. He thought she was dead. He broke down and feels bad he didn’t call us – we have assured him it’s okay, he can’t help how he reacts to situations, especially after the way he found his biological mother.
I move down a seat so JD can sit next to me and Maximus. My phone pings, and I open a chat Levi has started with all of us in it except Maximus.
Levi:Are you seeing what I am?
Mercer:Yep
Me:No, we’re all blind
Rory:leave him be, don’t make a huge deal of it
Levi:He is holding her hand
Me:Way to state the obvious
Levi:Shut up Rocky
A new message pings and it is another group chat.
Maximus:Stop talking about me, my ears are burning
Me:Levi is just trying to be captain obvious