Page 58 of Gilded Desires

“Aziel?” I ask again with fear lodged in my throat.

Haunted blue eyes turn to meet mine. He holds a hand out and I go to him, slipping my palm over his.

“Come here, beautiful.”

He drags me and my blanket into his lap and he settles his arm over my thighs. Sitting like this feels right, but my heart hangs low.

“Aziel, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

He looks straight ahead like he’s captured in the past.

“When I took the blunt force of that IED I thought I was dead. I’ve seen what those bombs can do. They are nasty. In fact, I did flatline. Three times. But I survived somehow. I still don’t understand it.”

I cup his face and lure his gaze to mine. “You did survive and I will say a prayer of gratitude every day of my life that you are still here. Please forgive me.”

“Did you know the cartel uses civilian drones to drop bombs on their targets?”

I shake my head. “No.” I have a sinking feeling I know where this is going and it’s exactly what I feared. “Not all crime families are the same, Aziel. My family has lines we don’t cross.”

He gives a predatory smile. “I’ve seen the bombs kill children. Whole families. Villages. And for what? Territory? All because the good guys refused to sell their drugs?”

“Did you stop them?”

“The cartel leader we were after? Gage and Rush did. I was fighting for my life after tackling a kid to the ground when one of those drones flew over.”

My hands fly to cover my gaping mouth. “My God, Aziel.”

“The child survived.” The relief of reminding himself of that chases a few of the demons I see lurking in the shadows of his past.

I slip from his lap and fall to my knees, shame holding me to the ground under its impressive, unforgiving weight.

“I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. Please, you have to believe me. I have no part in the crimes my family commits. But I am their blood. And I would die for them.” I raise my gaze to his and let my love for those who love me shine fiery hot.

“Just like I would die for you. For Gage and Rush. I never dreamed of hurting you, any of you. I never thought this between us would be something…special.” I finish strongly, holding his eyes with mine.

He takes my chin in hand. “No man ever deserves to see you on your knees, especially me.”

He pulls me to my feet. I shudder in a deep breath at the feel of his lips on my bare shoulder. His arms lock me to his side. He roams his kisses up my neck and finally takes my mouth in a slow-burn kind of claim.

When I think I’m about to pass out he breaks away, both of us breathing heavily.

“Let’s talk about it in the morning when we’ve all had a few hours to sleep.”

My phone goes off again and this time a text comes in. Leaving it unread, I shut the phone off and let them lead me off to bed. Tomorrow, I can tell them the rest of my news. For right now I think one secret at a time is all I can handle.

Later that night I wake with a terrible feeling in my gut I recognize immediately. Guilt and fear. I don’t feel right lying to my brother and lying to my men. This will never work if there are secrets between us and this one comes with a ticking clock.

Thunder rumbles over the lake with lightning trailing close behind.

“Guys?” I call out only to find silence in return. I walk through the dark house, flicking the lights on one-by-one finding no one.

Dread weighs my feet to the floor. The men are gone. And so is my phone.

Eighteen

Aziel

I’ve never been afraid of a gun shoved into my face. Tonight is no different. Only this time I’m not getting paid to take out the trash. I’m doing it for free.

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