Page 49 of Gilded Desires

I smile softly and keep all the coming dread in my life under wraps for now. There will be plenty of long nights of crying and ice cream in my future.

But not tonight.

“It’s simple. Once we get going, their hands on me, their mouths doing wicked things…down there, it’s like magic. The audience fades to dull noise and it stops being about the show. It’s me with my men. I enjoy giving others pleasure and if I can help others find their balance in some way, how can I not explore that?”

I place a hand over my cousin’s heart. “You should do the same.”

I smooth out a few stray strands of hair near her cheek and give her a quick hug. “Go with your men, sweetie. I’ll be fine. Promise.” Lifting my gaze, I find hope in what I see. “It looks like tonight might hold something good for the both of us.”

Sapphire’s brows draw together when I pull back from her.

“Why?”

In a low voice, I say, “Don’t look now but you have visitors coming your way. Nowyouseek out those bold new adventures and maybe lose that V card to a crew of handsome Bratva.”

“Belle,” she starts.

I slip across the small distance to join my waiting lovers. In a louder voice, I say, “Gentlemen, be careful with her.”

“Do we need to do something? They don’t look like the nicest men.” Rush looks over his shoulder as we walk away.

“Actually, I think that is what my cousin likes about them. Just how rough and tough they are.”

Gage swings me up into his arms and pins me to his chest. “Enough talk about other men. After tonight’s show, I want to take you out on our boat. Get you alone under the stars.”

“Not tonight, boys. I need to head home. I have some work I need to take care of.” I’m half teasing and half itching to get my hands on my paints. I want to put the image of our time here in the Mirror Room on canvas while it’s fresh in my memory. Not like I’ll be forgetting any of this in this lifetime.

“Bothers, did you pack the rope tonight?” Now Gage is the one who looks like he’s only half kidding.

“Oh,” I ask, my brows arching high in question.

He shrugs with a rueful grin taking hold of his lips. “I’ll resort to low-handed tactics to get what I want, sweetheart.”

That is what I am afraid of most. If they get me alone at their house, I’ll cave and tell them everything. They are SEALs and I represent everything they are fighting against in the world. It would be the end of us.

Fourteen

Belle

Three weeks later and I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Performing with three gorgeous men is zapping my energy. We wrapped up our last show last night and they want me to come out to the lake house for a celebratory dinner. A little cake, some wine. And I suspect none of us will be sleeping. They’ve respected my wishes to head home after each show so far, but this one time seems hard to avoid.

I wanted more experience in my life and man did I do that in spades.

I go straight to the third floor. It’s nearly nine in the morning. I left early this morning so I could get some errands done and just breathe a little and think about what comes next.

Honestly, I don’t have a clue.

Every time I start to think about my art or heading to Europe for a few weeks, my heart seizes and I feel like I’m going to black out. At least I don’t have to wonder how I’m going to sneak out anymore. After tonight, I can come clean. My brother thinks I’vebeen at art lessons in the evenings these past weeks and frankly I’m tired of lying to him.

My finger hovers over the button to the top floor, but I just don’t have the energy it will take to talk with him right now. I want to and I will, but later. Now that it’s come to an end, there’s nothing he can do about my summer adventure.

Nausea swirls through my stomach and grips me so hard I have to pause. I lean my cheek against the cool metal and let the sensation ground me. I had no idea my time with the men would make me so jittery that I become sick. I breathe in and out until I feel I can walk without losing my coffee and cake breakfast.

I grab my water bottle and swish the contents around my mouth.

“Hey, Lexi. Sapphire in?” The dark floor receptionist raises her eyes to mine when I step off the elevator. She takes in my messy bun and dark glasses but wisely says nothing.

“You’re in luck, Ms. Constantine. She’s in early and in the back. You okay?”

---