Page 34 of Neighbors With Benefits

Me: I’m too nice to root for any of this city’s teams.

Aiden: Keep talking and I will never mix your dough again. And yes, I mean that both literally AND as a euphemism for sex.

Me: I love the Phillies! And the Eagles! Go sports!

Aiden: I know you’re mocking me, but I’ll accept that response nonetheless.

Aiden: All right, I’m crashing. Night, Jazz.

Me: Night, Aiden!

I smiled into my pillow as I drifted off to sleep.

“Why did you insist on getting coffee today?” Cat asked me the next morning. “You usually only treat yourself to a caramel Frappuccino on the weekend.”

“This is a special occasion,” I said while we sat at a two-person table. “I have exciting news.”

Cat gave me a bored look. “Is it about work? Because I love you Snazzy Jazzy, but I can’t stomach another story about golf ball shipments.”

“If you don’t want to hear my story, then I’ll leave you alone.” I stood up and pretended like I was leaving. “But I slept with my neighbor last night.”

Cat flinched with her entire body, sloshing coffee over the rim of her mug. “JASPER BARNES. Don’t you dare toy with my emotions.”

“Full name. Ouch.”

Ignoring the coffee she had spilled on her jeans, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back down into my chair. “Are you being serious with me right now? You slept with your neighbor?”

Savoring her reaction, I nodded.

Cat let out a noise like a balloon losing all its air at once. “OH MY GOD. I’m so proud of my little slutskateer friend!”

“Cat, you’re shouting.”

“Of course I’m shouting! My best friend spent the last month insisting she didn’t want to get involved with her super-hot neighbor, and then she ambushes me on a Monday morning with the happiest news I’ve gotten all year!”

“Really?” I asked. “This is the best news you’ve gotten all year?”

“It’s been a boring year,” she said with a dismissive wave. “Wait. Which neighbor? Tall, dark, and handsome? Or blondie boy?”

“Aiden. The former.”

She let out another high-pitched screech. People at other tables were looking at us.

“You need to calmallthe way down before I give you any details,” I warned her.

“Calm down?” she demanded. “You had casual sex with your hot, well-endowed neighbor and you want me tocalm down?”

“I haven’t told you he’s well-endowed.”

“You didn’t deny it!” she exclaimed. “That’s a yes! Ohhh, I knew he had a big dick. That guy screams big dick energy.”

Suddenly, the manager was hovering next to our table. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

“First of all, I amwaytoo young to call ma’am,” Cat replied. “And second, I can’t be held responsible for my current outburst. My friend here just ended averylong dry spell and has chosen to give me the news in a public place.”

“He doesn’t need to hear about my dry spell,” I hissed. “Neither does everyone at the coffee shop.” I smiled at the manager. “I’m so sorry. I’ll handle her.”

“I’m just so happy!” Cat said at a more reasonable volume. She leaned over and put her coffee mug in the self-bussing area.

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