Page 133 of Neighbors With Benefits

“I brought that up the last time we had lunch, but you kind of brushed it off,” Cat said.

“I know, but I’m freaking out about it now. Let’s say we all agree on everything. Kids, a family, spending the rest of our lives together. How would that work?”

“I don’t know,” Cat answered. “Maybe it can work however you want it to work.”

“We wouldn’t be able to hide it. People would talk. If we hired a babysitter, she would figure it out.”

“Yeah…”

“Parent-teacher conferences,” I said. “PTA meetings. Baseball games. All the other parents would gossip about us.”

“Your imaginary children play baseball?” Cat asked.

“We would be laughed at! Polyamory isn’t mainstream, Cat. Nobody would invite us to neighborhood parties. We would struggle to make friends. And those parents probably wouldn’t lettheirkids play with ours because of it. We would be pariahs! I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but Cat, these aren’t small things. This kind of unusual relationship would affect every aspect of our life. And I just don’t think I can live like that.”

Cat slowly drank the rest of her margarita and rocked back and forth in the chair. Her silence shocked me. Usually she had a lot to say, and wasn’t afraid to immediately blurt it out.

She was doing something far more terrifying: she wasthinking.

Finally, she let out a long sigh. “Jasper, I think you’re right.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“I think you might want to strongly consider breaking things off with all three of them.”

“Seriously? You’re agreeing with me? The one time I want you to change my mind, you’reagreeing?”

She reached out and took my hand. “You’re my best friend, Jazz. I tease you, and push you to try new experiences, but I’m not going to mess around when it’s serious. And this isserious. You’ve made a lot of good points about the future. If you’reafraid of how people might treat you, then you should seriously reconsider the whole thing. Because if you spend your life being embarrassed by your partners, and afraid to be yourself, it will poison every aspect of your relationship.” She squeezed my hand. “It was that way with my first girlfriend. She was afraid of beingoutwhenever we were in public. Eventually, it destroyed us.”

“Ugh. I was hoping you would talk me out of it.”

“I know. I do think you should milk it a little longer. Enjoy it for what it is, maybe try one or two new things in the bedroom while you have the means. But ultimately, you’re right. The longer you wait, the bigger it will all blow up. It might destroy any chance of having a normal friendship with them after… and it might damage their friendship with each other, too.”

“Damnit.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, refilling our margaritas. “Just when things were getting good.”

Things remained relatively normal for the next week. Aiden, Bash, and I had our regular game nights together. On Tuesday I hooked up with both of them after Candyland, but I spent Thursday alone with Aiden. Bash was fine with it because he had me all to himself on Saturday. Then Aiden and I spent all day Sunday baking cookies together. We created a little game where we put the cookies in the oven, ran into the bedroom, and tried to get each other off before the timer dinged.

By the fourth batch of cookies, we were both sweaty, sore, and starving.

We offered to Facetime Dante during one of our sessions, but he insisted he was good. “I’m not jealous, but if I watch you have sex, I’ll be tempted to quit my job and hop on the first plane home,” he explained. “I can wait until I get home.”

I decided that Dante would handle a breakup fine. He knew what this was from the start. But I was terrified about how Aiden and Bash would take it.

Soon, I stopped thinking of a breakup as anifand started thinking of it as awhen. An inevitability as certain as the heat death of the universe.

I tried to pretend like everything was normal, but the guys began noticing my behavior. Every time they asked if I was okay, I told them it was just work stress.

But I couldn’t lie to them forever.

On Tuesday, we decided to play Pickleball on game night. All three of us were decked out in our silly neon workout clothes; Aiden looked the most ridiculous in pink shorts and a pink headband, but somehow he owned the look and strutted around the Pickleball court like a preening bird.

It took my mind off my worries for a while.

Until they started talking about the future.

“We should join more tournaments,” Bash said. “We need to defend our crown here next week, but there are a bunch of other leagues around town we could join.”

---