Page 11 of Neighbors With Benefits

“Next one over,” I said.

He retrieved the spice and gave it a few shakes over the pan, stirring the mixture together. Then he took another sample with the spoon and held it out to me, while cupping his other hand underneath to catch any drops.

“Taste it for me.”

Aiden brought the spoon to my lips. I tasted the red sauce, smacking my lips. “That’s much better!”

“Onion powder brings out the tangy flavor in a vodka sauce,” he explained. Suddenly, he seemed to realize what he was doing. “Shit. Sorry for taking over your cooking operation.”

“Don’t apologize! You made my food taste better and taught me something in the process.”

“Aiden’s a gifted teacher,” Bash said. “That’s why he’s so good at his job.”

Before I could ask what he did for a living, Aiden awkwardly ran a hand through his hair and said, “There’s one other F-tier neighbor.”

“Voldemort,” Bash whispered.

“His name isn’t actually Voldemort,” Aiden told me.

“I figured as much.”

“But he might as well be Voldemort. He’s a recluse who hates everyone. He lives in the house with the faded white paint over at the other end of the street.”

“The one with the yard that looks like it hasn’t been mowed all year?” I asked.

Bash underlinedVoldemorton the whiteboard and then snapped the cap back on it. “That’s the one.”

“That house is a mess,” I mused. “I’m surprised Karen hasn’t reported him for all the repairs that need to be done.”

Bash shook his head. “Karen doesn’t mess with Voldemort. She’s too scared.”

“So are the rest of us,” Aiden mumbled.

“Rumor has it he booby traps his front yard,” Bash explained, like he was telling a campfire ghost story. “He’s a recluse, so he rarely leaves his house, but he always wears camo clothing like he’s going hunting. He has a long grey beard and wears aviator sunglasses whenever he’s outside. There’s a sign on theporch that says solicitors will be shot. Andanothersign that says survivors will be shot a second time.”

“There’s another rumor that he murdered his wife,” Aiden said. “A few years ago, before we moved in, she just disappeared.”

“Who is spreading these rumors?” I asked skeptically.

“Probably Karen,” Aiden said with a chuckle. “And yeah, they’re likely an exaggeration. But you should still avoid the house.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I said while mixing sauce and pasta together in a pot. “You’re forgetting just one thing. What tier areyouin?”

Bash beamed at me. “Our greatness cannot be summarized by a simple tier system.”

“We transcend normal human tiers,” Aiden agreed.

“Well aren’t I lucky, then?” I said. “Dinner’s ready! The plates are in the cabinet over—”

“On it,” Aiden said, retrieving three plates. While he passed them around, Bash popped the cork off the wine and filled three stemless glasses from the open-air shelf next to the fridge.

“Okay, so I have to ask,” Aiden said as we sat down at the table. “Is Jazz your real name, or is it short for something?”

“Fuck me, this pasta is good,” Bash muttered, hunched over his plate. “Sorry. Go on.”

“Jazz is short for… Jasper,” I said.

“Damn. My money was on Jasmin, like in Aladdin,” Bash said.

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