Page 10 of Neighbors With Benefits

Aiden nodded. “Kevin is A-tier for sure. He’s retired and spends all his time working on his lawn. If you ever need anything related to landscaping, he’s your guy. He loves to help. We were out of town for a month earlier this year, and he took it upon himself to mow our lawn while we were gone.”

“Edging, too,” Bash said.

“Ms. Porter and Kevin,” I said, like a student repeating answers in class. “Who else is in the A-tier?”

“That’s probably it,” Aiden replied. “Although Jamie is at the top of the B-tier.”

“Jamie is tricky, because heseemslike a total asshole,” Bash explained. “But he’s just quiet by nature. If you have a problem with something mechanical, he can fix it within minutes. Microwaves, refrigerators, washing machines…”

“He fixed my transmission last year,” Aiden chimed in. “My mechanic quoted me twelve hundred dollars, but Jamie fixed it in an afternoon. Only charged me for the parts, which were like fifty bucks.”

“In return, we let his dogs out at lunch when he can’t leave work early,” Bash said. “They’re both Golden Retrievers. Sweetest dogs.”

Aiden rubbed his jaw with a palm. “Linda is probably also B-tier. She’s like a walking phone book. If you need any kind of service, she knows somebody.”

“House cleaners, handymen, notaries, financial advisers,” Bash listed off. “Literally anything you need, she can recommend the best.”

“She would be A-tier, but she has a Chihuahua that she lets off leash. Little guy runs up and down the street barking at people,” Aiden grumbled.

“I should be writing this down,” I said.

Bash walked over to the fridge, where I had a magnetic white board. “I got you,” he said, writing down the names and their tiers.

“Then there are the C-tier neighbors,” Aiden said ominously. “They’re not really good or bad. They’re just…there.”

“The Fallon family,” Bash said, writing the name down as he spoke. “Married couple with two kids. They’re not rude or anything…”

“…but they’re not friendly, either,” Aiden finished for him. “Very neutral. Same goes for Christine, in the big two-story house on the corner. We rarely interact.”

“Also the two houses next to her: Mr. Pine, and Josh Jackson. They travel a lot for work.”

“Which brings us to the F-tier neighbors,” Aiden said in a spooky voice. “The ones who you’re best avoiding, anddefinitelydon’t want to get on the bad side of.”

“Karen Dermatt,” Bash said. “Top of the F-tier list.”

“Her first name isn’t actually Karen,” Aiden explained, “but she has BKE.”

“Big Karen Energy,” Bash said.

Aiden sighed. “She’s the neighborhood snoop. Peers through her blinds and takes notes on everyone.”

“You mean like what Bash is doing right now?” I teased.

Bash paused with the marker in his hand and glared at me. “Our notes are helpful. Hers are malicious. She reports everyone to the HOA for the smallest infractions.”

“A tiny bit of paint chipped off our mailbox two months ago, so she filed a complaint. The HOA contacted us and made us repaint the entire thing.”

Bash resumed writing down his notes. “Kevin replaced his shutters, and apparently you’re supposed to get HOA approval before making any changes to the street-facing side of your house. So he got written up thanks to an anonymous tip from you-know-who.”

“She’s the house across the street,” Aiden said. “You’ll see her peeking through the blinds from the front-left room. We try to kill her with kindness, waving and being as friendly as possible, but it hasn’t worked.”

“Avoid Karen Dermatt. Got it.” I tasted the sauce with a spoon, frowning. “It’s missing something…”

“Let me taste?” Aiden asked.

Before I could say anything, he slid off the counter and took the spoon from me. He was a tall man, and his physical presence was a tangible thing as he moved in beside me. He wiped the spoon on a paper towel, scooped out another bit of sauce, and then tasted it.

“Do you have any onion powder?” he asked, immediately opening cabinets.

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