Page 98 of Shadows of Recovery

Tristan nodded, feeling a bit more grounded. “Okay. I trust you to do this right.”

Thirty-Seven

Sophie sat in the familiar calming environment of Dr. Chris Skylar's office. The walls were adorned with soft artwork, and the white noise machine provided a soothing background. Chris sat across from her, his expression one of patient attentiveness.

"How are you feeling today, Sophie?" Chris asked, his voice steady and reassuring.

Sophie took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I’ve been thinking a lot about... intimacy. Tristan and I have talked about it, and we’re considering making love for the first time since the assault."

Chris nodded, his face showing empathy and support. "How do you feel about that?"

"It’s overwhelming," Sophie admitted. "I’m scared, but Tristan has been so patient and gentle. He makes me feel safe. However, the memories are still so fresh, I’m not sure if I’m ready to handle all of this."

Chris leaned forward slightly, his eyes meeting hers. "It’s completely normal to feel that way, Sophie. The journey of healing from trauma, especially sexual trauma, is complex and non-linear. It’s important to take things at your own pace and communicate openly with Tristan about your feelings. There is no timetable. There are also two people involved. Tristan may not be ready when you are and vice versa.”

Sophie nodded, feeling a bit more reassured. "I want to reclaim that part of my life, but I’m afraid of what might happen if I can’t handle it."

Chris considered her words carefully before responding, "If you feel overwhelmed at any point, it’s okay to stop and take a step back."

Sophie sighed. "I just want to feel normal again. But after telling Tristan I came during the… assault. The sadness on his face...”

“He felt sad because he’s your partner. He’s part of this.” Chris gave her a reassuring look. "You are normal, Sophie. You’ve been through a traumatic experience and are working incredibly hard to heal. That takes immense strength. It’s okay to have moments of doubt and fear. The same goes for Tristan. He wants to heal too."

Sophie smiled faintly, appreciating his words. "Thank you, Chris. That helps." She looked at the clock. “Can we talk about me going back to work? When I think about it, I want to dive under the covers, and when I come out, I want to watchReal Housewivesfor the rest of my life.”

Chris laughed. “That’s not the best solution, huh?”

Sophie took a deep breath. "I love being a doctor, but I’m scared. What if people don’t trust me? What if I can’t function the way I used to?"

Chris leaned back, offering a thoughtful look. "Returning to work is a significant step, and it’s understandable to have those fears. Trust is something that can be rebuilt over time, both in yourself and in your patients. Your ability to function as a doctor will come back with patience and support."

Sophie nodded, the uncertainty still lingering. "I just don’t know if I can do it."

Chris leaned forward, his expression earnest. "There are other places where you could work that might provide a more supportive environment as you transition back. Have you considered a position at the Blackwell Institute?"

Sophie looked surprised. "Here?"

Chris nodded. "Yes. We’re always in need of compassionate, skilled doctors. It’s a more controlled environment where you can ease back into your role. Plus, I’ve read the notes you wrote to correct Kay Birdham’s charts. Your attention to detail and commitment to patient care are exceptional."

Sophie felt a flicker of want. "You think the Board would take me?"

"I’m confident they would," Chris said with a reassuring smile. "Your experience and skills are invaluable. And working here could provide you with a sense of purpose and stability as you continue to heal. You also would have the flexibility of hours."

Sophie took a deep breath, considering his words. "It sounds like a good idea. I just... I need to feel useful again. I need to feel like I’m contributing."

Chris nodded. "It’s important to find that sense of purpose. And remember, you’ve been through a tremendous ordeal, yet here you are, talking about moving forward. That takes incredible strength."

A tear slipped down her cheek, but this time it wasn’t from sorrow. It was from the tiny bit of hope she felt. "Thank you, Chris.”

He smiled warmly. "You have a lot of people who believe in you, Sophie. Take things one step at a time. Your timetable for work and intimacy is yours. And remember, it’s okay to lean on others for support."

Sophie nodded. "I will. I’m ready to take that step, even if it’s a small one.”

* * *

Tristan sat in the comfortable,warm office of his psychiatrist, Dr. Ellen Boyle. Despite the calm environment, a knot of anxiety clenched in his stomach. He thought this session was crucial, and he needed her guidance.

Ellen looked up from her notes and gave him a reassuring smile. "How have you been, Tristan?"

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