Page 18 of Ruined By the Hunk

She’s not wrong.

Alice

I sit up in bed, pulling the sheet up to cover me, though there’s no one here to see me and I certainly wasn’t shy earlier. Hunter’s gone to the kitchen to make me breakfast in bed. Hekissed my forehead before he left, murmuring something about eggs and toast.

I exhale and lean back against the headboard, running my fingers through my hair. Everything’s fine. This is fine. It felt like coming up for air after holding my breath for too long.

And yet, the longer I sit here, the more that certainty starts to slip through my fingers.

It starts as a small whisper in the back of my mind.

You know how this ends. You’re being reckless and someone will get hurt.

I shake my head to try and push my inner thoughts away. Hunter is thoughtful, caring, and patient. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. I feel safe with him. Before I hurt myself with my fear. I can’t do that again. It wouldn’t only be me who gets hurt. I would be hurting Hunter too.

But then it hits me. I’ve already been reckless.

We didn’t use protection.

The thought barrels through my chest like a freight train. I suddenly feel cold despite the warmth of the morning sun streaming through the window.

I trust Hunter. I trust him completely, but trust doesn’t change biology. And I’m not on the pill.

The room suddenly feels too small. The air is too thin.

This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, why I’ve kept myself out of relationships. My reckless behavior could have ramifications forever. This isn’t a car accident where I’m the only one affected. This would be my life, Hunter’s, and a child’s.

I pull my clothes on in a rush, my hands trembling as I fumble with the buttons on my jeans. As soon as I’m dressed, I look around the room, my heart hammering in my chest. I can’t stay here. I need space to think, to breathe.

And Splat.

I left him alone last night, too tired and caught up in Hunter to even consider how he’d feel waking up to an empty house.

The guilt swells in my throat, making it hard to swallow.

I slip on my shoes and head for the door, calling out to Hunter as I open it. “I need to check on Splat.”

I hear him call back from the kitchen, his voice light and warm. “Alice, wait a sec?—”

But I don’t wait. I can’t.

I shut the door behind me, cutting off whatever he was about to say and hurry down the short path to my house. My hands shake as I unlock the door and step inside, the silence pressing down on me like a weight.

Splat meows from the couch, his head lifting as he sees me.

“Hey, buddy,” I whisper, dropping my bag on the floor and sitting beside him. I scoop him into my lap, burying my face in his fur.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur, my voice cracking. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I’m sorry for all of it.”

His purr rumbles against my chest, but it doesn’t ease the ache inside me.

I glance toward the window, the curtains drawn tight. Hunter is probably wondering what’s going on, maybe even worrying. Part of me aches to go back to let him tell me everything is okay.

But it's not okay. It never is.

It’s safer this way. For both of us.

For now, I’ll just stay here, with Splat.

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