Page 37 of Lethal Pursuit

Knowing he wasn’t the one being tortured in that room down the hall flooded her with relief. “Yeah. Are you... How bad are you hurt?” There must not be guards around to overhear them, or Jackson wouldn’t have dared speak in the first place.

“I’m all right.”

He was lying. She could tell from how strained his voice sounded. And from the Sec Def’s agonized cries, she suspected they weren’t using just fists and a belt on him. Nausea rolled in her gut as she battled to block out those screams. “What did they want?”

“A video statement denouncing the war. They’ll never get it.”

She tried to ignore the way her heart sank at that, since they’d already threatened to kill her if Haversham didn’t cooperate. “How long have we been here?” Her cut lip and swollen cheek hurt from talking, but she didn’t care. She needed this connection to Jackson, tentative as it was.

“Couple of days, I think.” He grunted as though something had caused him a great deal of discomfort. She tried not to think about what they’d done to him. “Are your ribs a little better?”

“A little.”

“Liar.”

She could hear the smile in his voice and closed her eyes, her lips curving in response, despite the apparent hopelessness of their situation. His touch and presence were the only comforts she’d had throughout this whole ordeal. “I appreciate what you did for me.” The memory of how carefully he’d tended to her, those stolen caresses meant to comfort her made her ache inside.

“I didn’t do anything,” he replied. “I wish I could’ve done a hell of a lot more. Like get you out of here, for starters.”

“We’ll get out together,” she said firmly, flinching when Haversham let out a shriek that made the hair at her nape stand up. Her skin prickled, her subconscious reminding her it was only a matter of time before it was her turn in there again. She turned her attention back to Jackson and mulled over everything she hadn’t said to him. “Now’s not the best time, but I have to tell yousomething.”

“Well, I’m a captive audience right now, so go ahead,” he said dryly, emphasizing the pun.

She decided to say it straight out. “That night in Kandahar?” she began, her voice surprisingly controlled. The practical part of her knew there was a good chance she wouldn’t live much longer and while they had this rare moment of privacy she wanted him to know how she felt.

She heard his wistful sigh from down the hall. “It was the best night of this whole damn deployment.”

The smile pulling at her cracked lips hurt. “Well, good. But now I wish it had been...different.” It was stupid to blush when it was nearly pitch-dark and he was too far away to see her anyhow.

“Different how?” he asked after a brief pause.

It wasn’t easy for her to talk about, let alone admit to, but she owed him at least this much. She let out a long exhalation, wincing as it pulled at her ribs. “I didn’t mean to make you feel used. I wish it hadn’t been like that.” Well, more like she wishedshehadn’t been like that.

If she could go back in time and do it over again, she’d find them privacy, a locked room with a wide bed and plenty of hours to kill before they had to report for duty. Then she might even have tried something other than having one-sided sex with him. She’d never made love with anyone before. She wished she’d done it with Jackson. He would never hurt her or use her. Without a doubt he’d have made it wonderful, if she’d just found a way to let herself go for once.

His dry chuckle carried to her. “Okay, I forgive you. But next time? You’re going to be the one at my mercy instead.”

She appreciated his attempt at lightening the mood. She only hoped they got the chance to have a next time. Although at the moment, she’d settle for getting free and being able to feel his arms around her. She cleared her throat, trying to think of something else to say, but everything she came up with seemed stupid. Really, what was there left to say?

“So...know any good jokes?”

Swallowing past the restriction in her throat, she found her voice.“Only one comes to mind. Gallows humor.”

“My favorite kind. Hit me.”

Her voice shook ever so slightly. “Three prisoners were taken to the execution chamber.”

“Awesome. I like this one already.”

A laugh shook her. Oh, shit that hurt. “Don’t make me laugh,” she admonished. What the hell was wrong with her? None of this was even remotely funny. The exhaustion must be getting to her.

“Sorry. Carry on.”

“So they haul the first guy to the front of the room. They’re getting ready to shoot the first prisoner when he suddenly points out the window beside him and yells, ‘Avalanche!’ All the guards whip around to look out the window, and the prisoner runs away.”

“Smart. I’ll have to try that.”

“The second guy saw how well that worked for his buddy, and when it’s his turn, he yells, ‘Earthquake!’ then dives under the table. The guards scramble for cover under the other tables, and in the confusion the prisoner escapes.”

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