Page 19 of Beautiful Vengeance

“Who was it with?”

“A trainer.” She forced herself to keep going, just wanting to be done with this. “The cadre knew she had a crush on one of her instructors, so they allowed him to do the honors of taking her virginity.”

“I see. And what was that like for her?”

“She was nervous. Glad to get the first time over with.”

The therapist nodded. “Was it enjoyable at all for her?”

She withheld a snort. “No. It was a means to an end, and they both knew it. She wasn’t allowed to feel anything. They’d trained her not to. The most important part was, she had to keep up the act, make him think she was enjoying it, even when it hurt.”

The woman was quiet a moment, allowing Kiyomi to process that before continuing. “What happened after?”

“He left her room and went to report to the cadre.”

“Did it happen again?”

“Not with him. With others. They wanted her—me, to become desensitized to the vulnerability of it.” She’d hated that phase, the sense of violation she hadn’t yet been able to totally shut off.

“How many others were there?”

Kiyomi swallowed, her fingers knotting into fists on her thighs. “I don’t know.” At least ten while she was still a trainee. After that? She’d stopped keeping count, for her own sanity.

“What else happened during that phase?”

“She…had an operation.”

“A hysterectomy?”

“Yes.” The muscles in her belly knotted tighter.

“Was that voluntary?”

“They made it seem like it was. That it was my decision, that it was the best decision to prevent problems once I graduated and went into the field.”

“Teenage Kiyomi is in the chair across from you right now. What did she feel about the hysterectomy?”

“Scared,” she whispered, the word scraping against her throat. The lid of the vault was loose now. Ready to burst open. And when it did…

“Yes, I’ll bet she was.” Another pause. “What else?”

“She was angry.” She shifted in her seat, unable to stay still any longer. Her heart was thudding hard against her ribs, little tremors shaking her belly. Her breathing was uneven, her palms growing damp.

“Yes. Anything else?”

“Resentful. She’s been programmed by the cadre and she just wants to break free of everyone at the facility. Leave this part of her life behind, get out into the world to start using her skills. Start taking out targets, making a difference in the world, as they’d trained her to do.”

“And did she?”

“Yes.”

“How old was she when she killed her first target?”

“Twenty-one. And it…”

“It what?”

“It was easier than she thought it would be.” She’d been turned into a weapon. That first kill hadn’t even registered against the mental firewall they’d implanted in her mind.

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