Page 33 of Beautiful Vengeance

She’d heard that a million times before. The difference this time was, shefeltbeautiful. Marcus made her feel beautiful and desirable and free all at the same time. She was dizzy with it, her heart racing at the thought of what else he might make her feel.

He deepened the kiss, bringing her closer with those powerful hands, one on her back while he grazed his fingers down the side of her neck.

Her breath hitched and for just a moment she allowed herself to close her eyes and let go of the constant need to be vigilant, to shut off all sensation in her body and stay mentally alert at all times.

She kissed him back harder, showing him without words how much she wanted him. The need to be in control was still there, scraping against the edges of her consciousness even as she struggled to shut it off.

Marcus shifted the hand on her back to her ribs, coasted it up and down, the heel of his hand grazing the side of her breast. Her nipple beaded tight, aching for attention. She shifted and leaned into his touch, pressing her breast into his hand. He made a low sound and cupped the side of her breast, his thumb stroking gently, moving ever closer to the straining center.

When he finally touched her there she couldn’t hold back the tremulous moan that escaped as he sucked on her lower lip. The sound startled her, brought an instant rush of reproach and shame that shattered the spell she’d been under like a bullet through a pane of glass.

She pulled back, her body at war with her mind. Marcus held her gaze, unmoving, his face only inches away but his hands now on his thighs. “Too fast?” he murmured.

She shook her head, cringing inside. “No. No, it’s…” Jesus, she felt like an idiot. It was like a breaker had suddenly been tripped in her head. Instinctive and pure reflex, something she had no control over.

“You don’t have to explain,” he said, leaning back to straighten in his seat.

Her body and heart cried out at the increased distance between them. She grabbed his closest hand and curled her fingers around it, trying to think of a way to explain it so he would understand. It was important that he understand. “I’ve never been allowed to…”

“To what?” he said quietly after a moment.

“Feel. With anyone,” she added, her face heating at the admission.

This was so embarrassing. She’d ruined the moment. Killed it stone dead. Now she felt exposed, more vulnerable than if she’d been sitting here naked.

“You make mefeel,” she explained. “And part of my mind still doesn’t want to let me, because it’s not safe.”

He watched her for a long moment, then exhaled and reached for her. Without a word he pulled her into a tight hug, one hand curved around the back of her head, holding her face to his shoulder. “I would never hurt you or push you for anything you weren’t ready to give.”

She nodded, breathing in his scent and savoring the strength and security of his embrace. It wasn’t just her mind that was in danger with him, but her heart as well. “I know.” Until Marcus, she hadn’t believed men like this existed. Sometimes she still caught her mind telling her he couldn’t be real.

“Good.” He kissed her hair, released her and started the engine.

Frustration burned in her gut as he got them back on the road and headed for Stow. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d just ruined her only chance at something beautiful with him.

Her cell phone rang a few minutes later, a welcome reprieve from her dismal thoughts. “Hey, Trin. What’s up?”

“Damascus is a go.”

A burst of elation hit her. Marcus glanced over and she gave him a thumbs up to alert him what was going on. “When?”

“Tomorrow. We’ll work out the details later tonight once I get back to the manor. So, this is your baby. Who do you want with you?”

“You.” Because she was closest to Trin and wanted her experience on this one. “Amber and Jesse.” For logistics, and because they’d both recently been in Damascus. “Megan and Ty. Maybe one more.” For recon, backup and in case they had to steal anything. “And Marcus.”

A surprised pause filled the line. “Marcus?”

He glanced over again as she awaited Trinity’s reply. “Yes.” She wanted him with her when she went back to face her demons in Damascus.

He was the only person who could help keep her demons at bay.

Chapter Ten

Marcus stood in the shower of his en suite letting the hot water pound down on his head and shoulders, his mind a chaotic mess. They’d finished the meeting with the entire team ten minutes ago, outlining what would happen tomorrow, and the purpose of the mission.

Capture Fayez Rahman, and pump him for intel on the Architect. Then, while he was in captivity, Rahman would meet a mysterious demise, the details of which only a handful of them would be privy to—not including Marcus.

He’d never been so conflicted about a decision before. Returning to Syria weighed heavy on his mind, even though he’d volunteered to be part of the team. He was going because he needed to be there to ensure Kiyomi was safe. But now that the flight to Damascus loomed on the coming horizon, his demons were out in full force.

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