Page 39 of Guarded

Finally his mom laughed at him. “You don’t care about talking to us, you just want to see your baby. Go.” She shooed him, popped him on the back with the dishtowel as he walked away.

He jogged upstairs to find Briar. She was in the nursery, feeding Rosie in the comfy chair, and looked up with a greeting smile when he pushed the door open. The sight of her and Rosie together still hit him hard, filled his heart full to bursting with love and pride. “Hey, how are the two most important women in my life doing?”

“We survived.”

He chuckled at her dry response and crossed to them. “Glad to hear it, but I had complete faith in you.” He bent to kiss her softly, ran a hand over her hair as he pulled the edge of the nursing blanket aside to peer at their daughter. Rosie was curled up in Briar’s arms, her little mouth barely moving at Briar’s breast. “She all done?”

“For now. She got Trinity good just before she left, so I had to feed her again. I’m hoping most of it will stay down this time.”

“I’ll take her,” he said, easing her from Briar’s hold. Rosie released the nipple with a pop, stretched her thin arms over her head, her little face scrunching, then curled up into the fetal position once more and drifted off.

God, she was the most freaking adorable thing he’d ever seen, her tiny body slightly larger now than when she’d been born. She’d gained almost two pounds since coming home.

He tossed a burp cloth over his shoulder and tucked her against it, the feel of her cuddled against him filling him with a simultaneous protectiveness and tenderness on a level he’d never imagined possible before she came along. The thick mop of dark hair on her head was so damn soft. He nuzzled it, cradled her to him as he wrapped a light blanket around her.

Briar stood with a sigh and stretched, putting her hands to her lower back. Matt glanced at her. She was holding up amazingly well considering she’d had major surgery not quite two weeks ago, and had never complained about pain or anything even though she insisted on doing almost everything herself. Not that he was surprised. “You tired?”

She shrugged. “A little.”

That she would admit even that much told him she was actually exhausted. And the shower today would have worn her out more than usual. Having his mom and sister here right now made her feel a little awkward as well, but they were leaving tomorrow. He’d made sure the visit was only three days, max. “Why don’t you go lie down for a while? I’ll take the princess downstairs so it’ll be nice and quiet. Do you have a bottle ready?”

“There’s a whole stockpile in the fridge.” She followed him to the doorway, hesitated at the start of the hallway. “You sure?”

The truth was, he wanted to be more involved, feel like he was pulling his weight with all the things that came along with taking care of a baby. Briar didn’t let him do much to help her and it frustrated him sometimes. “Yeah, of course. Go to bed.” Brushing a quick kiss across her mouth, he went downstairs. In the living room he lowered himself to the couch, stretched out his legs as he laid Rosie more comfortably across his chest.

“Aww,” his mom said, and rushed in from the kitchen with Karen to take another million pictures and some video on her phone. “I just can’t get over seeing you with her. I always knew you’d be a good dad, but this is so…” She sniffed, bit her lip.

Matt chuckled. “Yeah, she’s got me wrapped nice and tight around her little finger already.” So far, fatherhood had surpassed his highest expectations. He’d never felt so fulfilled or content. So complete.

Rosie was the first thing he thought about when he opened his eyes, and the last one he thought about before closing them. He couldn’t wait to get home from work just to hold her. It was still incredible to him. After Lisa died, he’d thought he would never have the chance to be a father. Now that he was, he couldn’t imagine not having Rosie in his life.

“Where’s Briar?” Karen asked.

“I told her to get some sleep. She doesn’t get much overnight, especially if Rosie doesn’t keep her milk down. I’m taking the next feeding.” They’d arranged it so he would take at least one each night to let Briar sleep a bit more, and she insisted on doing the rest during the week because he had to get up early for work. He’d gone into the office these past few days to get some things finished up while his mom and sister were here to lend a hand.

Nothing had come up yet that required him to go out of town since the birth, though it was only a matter of time before it did. Both teams had training ops next month with SOF units, and then there were whatever situations they were called in for.

“Well Karen and I can each take a turn feeding Rosie a bottle overnight,” his mom said.

“Thanks, but Briar has to get up to pump anyway.” She was also a really private and independent person, so no matter how good his mom and sister’s intentions were, Briar would prefer to do it all herself. She was adorably protective of Rosie, watching like a hawk anytime someone other than him was holding their daughter.

“She seems to be doing well with everything. It must have been a huge adjustment to her at first, especially after the emergency C-section and all the running back and forth to the NICU until Rosie came home,” his mom said.

Matt nodded. “Briar’s amazing. She can handle anything.” He’d never been prouder of his wife than these weeks since Rosie was born. Her strength through everything made him feel weak by comparison. He just wanted to be more involved with Rosie. “I do what I can to give her a break when I’m home, but she’s doing the lion’s share of it.”

“I hope I can come out and spend more time with you guys now, or that you’ll fly back to California to visit more often. I hate living so far away from my only grandchild.”

He hid a smile. His mom—and Karen for that matter—would love nothing more than to be Briar’s bestie. She was having a hard time accepting that Briar hadn’t yet warmed up to her the way she wanted. She didn’t know about Briar’s background, or understand why she was so cautious and guarded around people she didn’t know. Matt had only told his mother that Briar was former military and left it at that, because there were a lot of things in Briar’s past that she didn’t want people to know about.

Briar would warm up to her though eventually, given enough time. His mom was a fantastic lady. He’d told her to be patient with Briar. They just needed to let the relationship develop naturally, spend more time together over the coming months and not force it.

“We’d like that too,” he said, sharing a knowing smile with his sister.

His mom beamed at him. “Well. If you get tired of holding her, let me know. I’m ready for another turn.”

“Yeah, and me too,” Karen said. “I only got to hold her for all of five minutes this afternoon with all the other women hogging her.”

“Will do,” Matt said, and settled back against the cushions to visit with his family. But he was never going to get tired of holding Rosie. Ever.

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