Page 33 of Guarded

He wiped the tears from her face. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“No. I’m fine.Gowith her.” She was trapped on the table, frantic with the need to be with her baby. She at least wanted Matt there with her, to make sure everything’s okay.

He hesitated, then pressed a kiss to her forehead and got up. “All right. I’ll go check on her and see you when you’re out of recovery. Don’t worry, honey, she’s safe and in good hands.” He kissed her again. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she said, and he left.

The doctor was saying something to her now, something about what she was doing to close the incisions but Briar was past hearing or caring as she wiped at the tears of relief and exhaustion. She didn’t care about anything at the moment except her helpless baby daughter who had just been taken away from her.

****

Hard to believe this was real.

Matt stood in front of the large viewing window outside the NICU, still dressed in his scrubs while the team of nurses busily tended to his daughter over in the far back corner. He was still reeling from the events of the past twenty-four hours. He was afathernow.

His chest tightened as he watched the nurses work on the baby. He and Briar hadn’t even picked out names yet, because they’d thought they had lots more time to do it. They had planned to talk about it this weekend during their getaway.

Whatever they decided on, it needed to be special. Maybe something to honor Briar’s Palestinian or Venezuelan heritage. Something from the life she’d had with her parents before the accident, before becoming a Valkyrie had changed everything. Though he was grateful for the hardships she’d endured too. Without them, he and Briar would never have met.

A nurse checking on a baby closer to the window noticed him standing here. She popped around the doorway to smile at him. “Are you baby DeLuca’s daddy?”

The words hit him unexpectedly hard, like a punch to the ribs. Oh, shit, he was gonna choke up. “Yes.”

“Come on in. They’ve got her all sorted out now, so you can say hi. Just be sure you scrub your hands again as soon as you enter.”

His heart thumped in his ears as he walked into the nursery, washed his hands again and headed for the far corner. Another nurse saw him coming, smiled and moved aside a little. “She’s doing great. Breathing on her own and her initial vitals look good.”

Matt stepped closer, and the sight of his daughter lying there almost snapped the last thread of control he had over his emotions. “She’s so tiny,” he said, his voice rough.

“Four pounds, nine ounces. That’s a good size for a thirty-three weeker.”

Barely over four-and-a-half-pounds. Jesus. Her little diaper came up almost to her chest and they’d put what he surmised must be a feed tube into her nose.

He moved closer to the incubator, mesmerized, dying to touch her. He glanced at the nurse. “Can I…?”

“Of course. You can’t hold her just yet, but you can touch her. Go ahead and get acquainted.”

Matt drank in every tiny detail of his daughter as he reached in to touch her. The thick cap of dark brown hair on her head, the tiny dark eyebrows and lashes.

His hand looked huge next to her, big enough to cradle her entire body in his palm. She had no fat or muscle on her. He was afraid of hurting her, she was so small and delicate-looking.

Moving cautiously, he reached out his forefinger and gently stroked the thick, fluffy hair on her head. So damn soft, like a baby duckling’s down. “How is she?”

“She’s doing beautifully. Her suck/swallow reflex isn’t well developed yet, but that’s normal for this stage. She’ll come along fast, you’ll see. She’s strong.”

“She’s a warrior, just like her mama.” A teensy little Valkyrie, half him, half Briar. God, it was so incredible.

Feeling braver, he reached down to touch one tiny, perfectly-formed hand. She twitched, raised her thin arm and curled those impossibly small fingers around his. Reaching for him. Holding tight, the solid grip surprising him.

A painful squeezing sensation in the middle of his chest stole his breath, his heart swelling so full he didn’t even know what to do with it.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he said softly, his voice unsteady. “Happy birthday.”

The baby’s eyes opened a fraction, the gaze hazy and unfocused. But for that split second he was sure she looked at him, and he felt the instant connection between them forge like steel inside him. Unbreakable.

A tissue appeared before his face.

He glanced over at the nurse beside him, not realizing until that moment that he was crying. He wasn’t even embarrassed, too overwhelmed to feel anything else. God, he’d never imagined it would feel like this. That he could be this in love this soon.

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