Page 32 of Guarded

Hope exploded inside her. Her heart stuttered, and when Matt appeared in the doorway dressed in scrubs and a hair net, she almost gave into the need to burst into tears.

He strode straight to her, his face filled with concern. “Hey, sweetheart.” He bent and kissed her softly, gripped both of her hands in his warm ones when she reached up to him. Then he gave her a smile. “I made it.”

The jagged edge of fear receded. She couldn’t answer, her chest and throat were too tight. Instead she pulled his hands to her mouth and held them there, grateful to be able to have him here as her anchor. The cold and apprehension were still there but now they were bearable with him beside her.

“Here you go, dad,” a nurse said, sliding a chair in behind him.

Matt tugged his mask into place over his mouth and nose and sat behind Briar’s head, joined their hands and resting them on her chest. Somehow he made it seem easier to breathe. She’d been so damn scared until he’d walked in and now she didn’t have to carry the load alone.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he told her softly, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her knuckles. Calm. Steady as ever.

“I’ve made the first incision,” the doctor announced from the other side of the low curtain. “You doing all right?”

“Mmhmm,” Briar managed, her jaw still shaking a little from shock and cold. It felt like her whole body was quivering.

“Good. Now you’re going to feel some pressure.”

A dozen different emotions all churned inside her. She was still afraid for the baby, but there was also hope and excitement and shock.

She tensed when she felt the pressure on her stomach. It was strange because she couldn’t feel any pain, and knowing she was lying there cut open like a fish was unsettling in its own sense.

“All right, now some tugging. Just keep breathing, you’re doing great.”

Briar looked up at her husband. Matt met her gaze, his clear green eyes visible above the edge of the surgical mask.

Calm. Solid. She drew strength from him, calmed her heart rate. Matt wouldn’t let anything happen to her and the baby. The thought wasn’t logical but she didn’t care. She absolutely trusted him to ensure her safety.

“So, are you two ready to meet your baby?” the doctor said a minute later.

Briar held her breath, her heart thudding hard against her ribs. She dug her fingers into Matt’s hands, felt him squeeze tight.Yes. Yes, I’m ready.

“Suction.”

A sucking sound filled the room. More tugs, more pressure.

“And…it’s a girl.”

The words pinged through Briar’s mind like a ricochet. A girl? She’d been convinced it was a boy, but ohhh…

I have a daughter.

A tiny, thin cry split the quiet. The sound of it twisted her heart, her brain instantly recognizing it as her child. Briar jerked her head up off the table, her gaze locked on the partition blocking her from seeing what was happening. Matt set a hand beneath her head to bolster it.

The doctor lifted the baby up above the level of the curtain. “Here she is,” she announced.

Briar stared, not even daring to breathe. The sight of her daughter was so surreal. Red and wrinkly and so heartbreakingly tiny. So fragile. “Is she breathing?” she demanded.

“Yes, she is,” the doctor said, and lowered the baby back behind the curtain. “She’s a beauty.”

The NICU team took over. Briar dropped her head back to the table and squeezed her eyes shut. Relief and gratitude flooded her. Tears trickled down her temples. She was a mom. She had a daughter. A daughter she couldn’t hold right now because the baby was too fragile.

Matt pressed his cheek to hers. “She’s beautiful,” he said in a choked voice.

Briar nodded and clung to his hands, clamped her lips together and tried to stop crying. At the sound of something being wheeled across the floor, she opened her eyes. The team was pushing an incubator past her. Briar caught one last look at her tiny daughter lying naked on the blanket inside, and then they rushed her out of the room.

A fierce wave of protectiveness rose up, tinged with the sharp edge of panic. If she had been physically able to jump up and run after the baby, she would have.

She reached up and pushed at Matt’s shoulder. “Go with her,” she begged, unable to stay calm. “You need to go with her.”

---