Tuck was a prince of a guy, a former Delta operator who was steady under pressure, led the other guys by example. Matt was fortunate to have him serving as Blue Team’s leader. “No, but thanks. Looks like you guys might have to do this one without me. Obviously I won’t be able to deploy if things get critical.” Replacing him as commander when they were looking at a tight timeline for deployment wasn’t ideal. But what the hell choice did he have? “I can’t leave her.”
“Course not. Don’t worry about anything else. I’ll contact CIRG and keep you updated directly. You just look after your family.”
The words hit Matt like an arrow in the chest.My family.A lump formed in his throat. He cleared it before speaking. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” He checked the time, lowered the phone.
Briar still wasn’t back yet. What the hell was taking so long?
Exhaling a deep breath, he leaned back in his seat and made one more call, for backup this time. Someone Briar would appreciate having around for extra support if they needed it. He would have called Taya but she had her own child to look after and Matt didn’t want to bother her, especially when Schroder was being notified of a possible deployment right now.
Then it was back to waiting.
A few minutes later he glanced at his watch and shifted on the uncomfortable chair. How long did a fucking ultrasound take, anyway? When he’d come in with Briar for the ultrasound at nineteen weeks, they had been in and out of there within forty minutes. Yet here he’d been sitting in the hall for over ninety minutes this time.
It seemed to take forever until the elevator doors opened and Briar finally rolled through on her bed. He jumped up from his chair and rushed over to her as they wheeled her down the hall. Her color was better, and she no longer had that pinched look on her face. “Hey. Everything okay?” he asked her, reaching for her hand.
She nodded, worry lurking in her dark eyes. “The doctor thinks my placenta may have torn a bit.”
He nodded, having looked up some things before the call from CIRG. “So what does the doctor say that means for the baby?”
“She hasn’t talked to me about the ultrasound results yet. The good news is, the bleeding’s slowing. They think it’s almost stopped. For now they want me on bed rest until they can guarantee there won’t be more bleeding and the placenta moves away from my cervix.”
Not the news he’d been hoping for. Not by a long shot. But better than he’d feared.
He continued with her into a room near the end of the hall. “I upgraded you to a private room,” he said. At least one perk of his FBI health care coverage he could put to good use in this situation.
She let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks. Sharing a room with strangers right now when everything is up in the air would have made this a hundred times worse.”
He nodded, moved out of the way while the nurse pushed the bed into position and put the brakes on. “Is the doctor going to come talk to us?”
“Yes,” the nurse said. “I believe she’s going over the ultrasound results with the radiologist right now.” She paused to look at Briar. “Do you need anything at the moment?”
Briar shook her head. “No, I’m okay.”
When the nurse left, the room got way too quiet. Matt pulled up a chair to the edge of the bed and sat in it before taking Briar’s hand again. It was hard to see her being forced to lie so still. She was always active, always had something on the go. “How you holding up, honey?”
She turned her head, those liquid black eyes focusing on him. “I’m okay.”
No she wasn’t. How could she be when they didn’t know if she or the baby were still in danger? But he didn’t want to push, and he of all people understood why she felt the need for the strong, silent front she was putting on.
Just as quickly she looked away, began fiddling with the covers with her right hand. Betraying her anxiety in a way her expression and demeanor never would. “It might have been because of my flight yesterday.”
She said it so softly he had to lean forward to catch it. “They told you that?”
“The doctor said she couldn’t rule it out.” She hesitated before continuing. “I had to fight to get her to sign off on allowing me to take the trip. What if… What if we lose the baby because of me?”
Matt’s heart dropped. She was the most stubborn, independent woman he’d ever met. For her to admit that to him meant she must believe it was true, and that it was also weighing on her like an avalanche.
“Hey.” He stood, leaned over her to cup her cheek. She blinked fast, but not fast enough to hide the sheen of moisture there. It cut him up inside, to see her this upset and blaming herself. “You can’t do that to yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”
She swallowed and pressed her lips together, refused to look at him. “What if it was?” she said hoarsely. “How am I supposed to live with that if something happens to the baby?”
Ah, honey.He couldn’t let her suffer through that kind of guilt and blame on top of everything else. “Come here,” he murmured, sliding his arms around her back.
Briar grabbed onto him and turned her face into his neck, the strength of her grip and the fine tremors wracking her making him feel helpless. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
She thought he blamed her for this, he realized.
“No,” he insisted with a shake of his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. All that matters now is making sure you and the baby are safe. Everything’s gonna be fine.” He’d been thinking about it a lot while she was getting her tests done. If she hemorrhaged again and for some reason he had to make a call between saving her life and the baby’s, he wouldn’t even have to think. Without hesitation he would tell them to save Briar.