Page 27 of Fast Justice

“Hi,” she said quietly, her expression guarded.

He suppressed the snap of irritation that look caused. Now was not the time to wonder why she would feel wary around him. “Hey. I heard what happened and came as soon as I could.”

She nodded, her eyes a little puffy and red. “It’s fine. Thanks for coming.”

The inane, overly-polite conversation was like barbed wire scraping over his skin. They were like two polite strangers facing each other. “Is he all right?”

“No. He just came out of surgery a little while ago. They took his spleen, fixed other internal bleeding. His blood pressure’s low now, but it’s stable. As far as brain injury, they think he’ll be okay. Not sure yet about his vision.”

Mal hid a wince. “I’m so sorry.”

She exhaled and lowered her gaze to the floor. “Thanks.”

“Is there anything I can do?”Besides hug you.God, she looked like she needed one, and he ached to wrap his arms around her, even if he never could again. Hugging her after the car accident yesterday had been pure reflex. He hadn’t been thinking, had just been so relieved to see she was okay. A mistake.

A shiny lock of ebony hair brushed against her cheek as she shook her head. “No. But I appreciate you coming down here. It would mean a lot to Kevin, knowing you’re here.”

But what about you?He bit back the words before they could burst out of his mouth. They were done. He needed to accept it on every level and drop it.

The pause lengthened, filling the space between them with a brittle silence as they stood facing each other. Mal tried to think of something comforting to say. As hurt as he was, as indifferent as he wanted to appear to her, he still cared and hated to see her torn up like this. Hated even more that someone had targeted her in the first place.

His blood pressure had dropped fifty points when Taggart had told him about the explosion. It was shitty enough that Kevin had been so badly injured. But when Mal thought of Rowan being in her brother’s place right now, when he imagined her walking out of the building juggling her briefcase and files and pulling out her keys to unlock her rental car…

The thought of losing her for good was incomprehensible. Okay, she wasn’t his and never would be again, but the idea of her life being snuffed out in an instant and that precious light extinguished from the world forever just ripped him up inside.

“What happened?” he asked finally when he couldn’t think of anything else safe to say.

Those deep blue eyes lifted to his. “He stopped by my office with dinner. You know Kev, always taking care of people, and he knows how I get when I’m working on a big case like this.”

Yeah, she went into pure workaholic mode. She didn’t eat, barely slept. He’d seen that once firsthand during their too-short time together, when he’d come by her place after work and found her buried in papers.

Part of him admired her single-minded determination and work ethic. He understood what it meant to be driven. He totally got what it took to reach a lifelong goal.

But there was something inside her driving her to those extremes that he didn’t understand. Almost as if she pushed herself to the brink of her endurance because she was afraid of what might happen if she didn’t. Like she still felt she had something to prove—whether to herself or someone else, he wasn’t sure. He suspected it had to do with her father, but she hadn’t kept Mal around long enough for him to find out.

“I’d left my car at the shop to get fixed yesterday. Kev picked it up for me on the way over as a surprise, then was going to return my rental for me when he left. He…” She faltered, swallowed and glanced away before continuing. “He hit the remote start button on the key fob when he got outside. It exploded.” She drew in a steadying breath, still avoiding eye contact. “If he’d been in the car when he started it, he would have—” Her voice shredded, igniting a primal, frantic need inside him to comfort her. Make it stop hurting.

She pressed her lips together in a clear effort to keep from crying and wrapped her arms around her middle, and Mal’s resolve crumbled. He could no more keep his distance from her at that moment than he could quit breathing.

Without a word he erased the space between them and gathered her into his arms. She was stiff at first, her body rigid, arms remaining clasped around her own waist. He simply tucked her against his chest and rested his chin on top of her head without saying anything or pressuring her to talk.

After a few seconds, she unwound like a coiled spring, her arms winding around his waist, her cheek pressed to his heart. Her shoulders jerked and she made a soft, choked sound, like she was desperately trying not to cry. Afraid of appearing weak, even in front of him. Or maybe especially in front of him.

It shredded him.

Mal closed his eyes and sighed, twisted up inside.God, sweetness, I’m not gonna hurt you.He tightened his hold, slid one hand up to cradle the back of her head in his palm, keeping her close.

She shuddered, sucked in an unsteady breath, then let it out slowly and seemed to melt into his body. Her silent acceptance of his comfort soothed him on the deepest level. Her hair was cool and silky under his hand, her slender curves melded to his front, the sweet scent of her shampoo teasing him. She fit against him so perfectly, like she’d been made for him.

With effort he stopped the thought, refused to wish for something that could never be. If life had taught him anything, it was to live in the moment. So he would take this one and savor it, memorize every detail of it, because it wouldn’t last.

He could have held her like that forever but all too soon she composed herself and straightened, pulling away to wipe her face and run a self-conscious hand over her hair. Mal’s fingers itched to do it for her.

“Thanks. I needed that,” she murmured.

Mal nodded, stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. He didn’t ask to see Kevin, because it was family only in the ICU. “Can I get anything for you guys? Call someone?”

“No, but thanks. We’re planning to take shifts at Kev’s bedside until he wakes up, although Nick has already told us he’s not leaving—” She broke off when the door swung open.

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