Page 11 of Shattered

“Yeah.” A big one.

He wasn’t proud of it. Most of his issues he’d dealt with. But some were too ingrained and he didn’t feel like wasting energy on them.

He searched for the right words. “It’s just…you don’t know how toxic things were when I was growing up.” The constant shame when landlords had come to evict them from yet another place, knowing his mother had used up all her lies and they had to move on again. Or when the creditors had come after them and repossessed their stuff.

His mother had been a pro at working the welfare system, but even her maneuvering had its limits. He’d told Taya about most of it, but hearing about it wasn’t the same as living it. He’d sworn to himself that the moment he was old enough, he’d leave and never look back. And he hadn’t.

The words kept coming. “I did everything in my power to escape all that, and I’m not going to let anything jeopardize what we have now.”

She nodded, easing back to meet and hold his gaze. “I understand.”

No, she didn’t, not really. How could she, when she’d grown up in a loving, supportive home, and was still close to her father and brother? And he didn’t want her to. But he appreciated that she was trying to see where he was coming from. That she had his back. It calmed him.

He ran a hand through her long brown curls, the strands wrapping around his fingers. Clinging, as if they didn’t want to let go. He knew the feeling. “You’re wiped. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Okay, Doc.”

“Hey.” He swatted her butt gently, loving the way her eyes sparkled with humor. “Only the guys get to call me that. Not you.” With a grin, he dropped a light kiss on her lips and tugged her toward the door.

The mention of his past had stirred up a lot of memories best left buried. He resented that even more considering he was leaving tomorrow for a training op, and had only a few hours left to spend with Taya.

To clear his head, he hopped in the shower, stood there letting the hot water beat down on him. The past was the past. He and Taya had a bright future to look forward to.Theywere what mattered. Thinking about his sister for one second longer was pointless.

Toweling off his hair, he walked back into the master bedroom and stopped in the doorway, his heart turning over when he saw his wife. Taya was stretched out on her side on top of the covers still wearing all her clothes, and fast asleep. She looked like an angel lying there, her hair spilling over the pillow, the thin, silvery scars on the side of her face revealed in the soft light from the bedside lamp.

He rarely noticed her scars anymore, but not a day went by when he didn’t think about how she’d gotten them, and he’d always wonder why he’d come through their ordeal in Afghanistan unscathed when she’d suffered so much and he’s lost the man who’d been like his brother.

Well, physically Nate had been unscathed, anyway. He still had some residual survivor’s guilt about O’Neil, but Taya had helped with a lot of it, and he still journaled whenever the issue reared its head again.

God, he owed her everything. Could never in ten lifetimes give her back as much as she’d given him. But he’d sure as hell try.

As gently as he could, he turned her onto her back, smiling down into her face when she stirred and blinked up at him with dazed, gray eyes. “You’re still dressed,” he whispered, hoping to not wake her up completely as he removed her socks. He’d planned to make love to her, had been thinking about it all afternoon, but if she was this tired he would let her sleep.

Taya gave a drowsy sigh, didn’t respond as she allowed him to help her undress and get her under the covers. He thought she was asleep again when he crawled in beside her naked and pulled her to his chest, then switched off the bedside lamp, a faint amount of light filtering in through the open door from the bathroom window.

“Nathan?”

He stilled. “Yeah?”

“I have something else to tell you.”

He tensed, suddenly wary, his mind automatically bracing for more about Dara. He didn’t want to hear it, but he also needed to let Taya say her piece. “Okay.”

“I hope it’s better news than the last bit.”

Me too.He ran a hand over her hair. “So? What is it?”

She shifted until she was lying on her side facing him, her head on his pillow, her gaze on his. “I’m pregnant.”

Nate stopped breathing. He stared at his wife’s face in the faint light, his mind wiped blank. “What?”

Gentle fingers trailed over his cheek, down to stroke his lips, and there was a smile in her voice as she answered. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Joy burst inside him. “Oh, my God, Taya…” He locked his arms around her and dragged her to him, cradling her as close as he could. Was this real? He wasn’t dreaming? “You’re sure?”

Her curls brushed the bottom of his chin as she nodded. “Positive. I took two tests yesterday morning before checking out of my hotel. I think I’m around five weeks or so.”

Unexpected tears burned his eyes. “Oh, my God,” he repeated with a little laugh. He was going to be a father? It had happened so fast.

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