Page 21 of Strike Fast

“Were you there when he died?” she asked gently.

His jaw clenched and he lowered his gaze to the water glass he held in his lap. “No. He didn’t die in combat.”

“In training?”

He shook his head. “Hanged himself a few months after we got home.”

“Oh, Reid…” She put a hand on his shoulder, feeling awful, the muscles rock hard beneath her palm. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay.” He fidgeted with the water glass. “I knew he was in a bad place and tried to do what I could to pull him out of it. He promised me he’d get help.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I knew something was wrong that night. He wouldn’t answer his phone so I went over there. And I found him hanging in the shower.”

Oh, Jesus. “That’s terrible.”

He nodded. “I think the worst part was telling his wife. They’d been having problems and she was out of town staying with her mom when it happened. I drove all night to get there, and when she saw me at the door she started screaming.”

Tess couldn’t stand not being able to comfort him. She set her wine down and wrapped both arms around him, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. Relief and warmth spread through her when he curled an arm around her and tucked her into his side. “I’m so sorry that happened.”

“It was hard, not gonna lie.” He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair, the motion tender yet arousing, too. “I told you last night that I didn’t handle it well.”

She tipped her head back to look at him, sensing he was about to say something important.

He nodded at the glass in his hand. “You probably noticed I’ve been drinking water this whole time. And that’s because I had a drinking problem.”

The bluntness of the admission took her aback, but she also found it incredibly brave. “You did?”

He nodded once. “A bad one. Started drinking heavily after Jason died and everything kind of went into a downward spiral after that. I’ve been dry a long time now, thanks to Autumn coming along, but I can’t pretend it’s not still inside me.” He turned his head and met her gaze, and the bravery of that struck her deep inside. “So if you were wondering what happened with my marriage, that was a big part of it. That and me being gone a lot, starting from when I began trying out for FAST.”

There were always two sides to the story. “You seem to have done a good job at getting your life back together again.”

“So far so good, yeah.”

She rested her chin on his shoulder, admiring him for his honesty. “Thank you for telling me. Why did you, by the way?” He certainly hadn’t needed to. He could have kept it from her, but given enough time she would have wondered why he always abstained.

He avoided her gaze as he answered. “I wanted you to know what kind of man I am before things went any farther.”

So she could make up her mind whether he was worth the risk or not. He didn’t say the words, but they were clear anyway.

Tess slid her fingers into the back of his hair, caressed his scalp gently as she leaned in to nuzzle his cheek with the tip of her nose. “I think I’ve already seen enough about your character firsthand to have a pretty good idea of what kind of man you are,” she murmured against his stubble.

She’d seen him protecting his teammates during that harrowing extraction. Knew the stringent standards that FAST members had to maintain in order to make the teams. And she’d seen the love he had for his daughter. Those things, combined with him having just volunteered his deepest, darkest secret to her up front on his own without excuse or apology, told her he was worth the risk.

He turned his head to face her, surprise clear in the depths of his deep blue eyes. “And you still want to be here?”

The hint of vulnerability coming from such a strong man turned her heart to mush. His drinking may have been a huge contributing factor to the dissolution of his marriage, but the divorce had obviously hurt him deeply.

She smiled and leaned in to brush her lips across the corner of his mouth. “I absolutely do.” Whether it was smart or not, she couldn’t deny it.

His water glass thudded on the coffee table an instant before his hands slid into her hair and his mouth covered hers. She sighed and sank a hand into his hair, her other going to his shoulder to anchor herself. God, the way he kissed—a heated seduction of lips and tongue she had no prayer of resisting. Her head swam as he deepened the kiss, his tongue caressing hers.

The distinctive notes of the Harry Potter theme song broke through the fog in her mind.

Reid eased back, stared at her. A ringtone coming from his phone.

“Autumn?” she guessed, trying to clear her head. The man was lethal with his mouth.

He nodded, his eyes all smoky, his voice rough with desire. “I’ll call her back.”

Tess shook her head and put a hand in the center of his chest, pushing back. What if it was important? “No, answer it.”

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