Among other things.He didn’t exactly blame her for being upset. Very few women were okay with the frequent and sometimes long-term absences his job demanded. And since they were only dating, there was a lot he didn’t—couldn’t—tell her.
Abby’s shrewd expression told him she wasn’t buying it, then her face softened. “You know, I don’t talk about this much, but I got out of a toxic relationship a while back. We were together three years and I was sucked in so deep I didn’t see how bad it really was. And, if I’m honest I guess deep down I just really didn’t want to be alone, so being in a bad relationship was somehow better than being by myself.
“But then one day I realized how dysfunctional and codependent it was. I finally understood that I deserved better. That I’d been enabling it.” She took a deep breath. “Once I figured that out, there was no going back. I left him. It wasn’t easy, but my life is a thousand percent better now. Looking back, I can’t believe I wasted three years of my life on someone who was never going to treat me the way I deserved.”
Kai stared at her in stunned silence. Was that what he was doing? Enabling a toxic relationship? He floundered for something to say, squirming inside. So much of what she said rang true for him, too. It was like she saw right through him.
Abby took pity on him by shrugging and giving him a quick smile. “Anyway, don’t worry about your place, I’ve got it covered. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Thanks. I’ll give your container back after I wash it.”
“Okay. See you.” She let herself out and left him standing there in the kitchen with a container of delicious food in his hand and a strange, hollow sensation filling his chest as a light bulb went off in his brain.
Jesus Christ, she was right about everything. He’d been enabling a toxic relationship for months now, and it wasn’t the first time. All four of his serious relationships had followed a similar pattern, and every single one of them had dragged on way too long in the same hellish cycle. Why did he pick women that were no good for him?
Kai frowned, suddenly angry with himself. Shit, hediddeserve better. He knew damn well that Shelley was never going to change, never become secure in her own skin and in his loyalty to her.
It was time to get real, stop hoping things would get better, man up and do something about it.
Chapter Six
Tess smoothed a hand down the front of her coral-colored, knee-length dress and took a breath before pushing the doorbell. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had butterflies before a date—maybe a few in the beginning of her one and only relationship since her husband died—but they were fluttering like crazy in the pit of her stomach right now. Reid had promised to pick her up, but things had gone late with her last meeting so she’d texted and told him she would take a cab over.
Reid pulled the door open a moment later, wearing jeans and a deep blue shirt that matched his eyes, and gave her a slow smile that made her heart do a slow somersault. “Hi.”
“Hi.” She thrust the bottle of wine at him, mentally muting the whisper of uncertainty in her brain that wouldn’t shut up.What are you doing? Do you even know what you’re doing?You think getting involved with another man whose job puts his life in danger all the time is a good idea?
Okay, no to that last part. But what was she doing? She waslivingfor a change, rather than just existing. That kiss had left her body aching and restless. Reid had woken something inside her, made her feel alive and attractive in a way she hadn’t in a damn long time, and she refused to spoil this by overthinking it.
While staring at the ceiling last night, yearning for the weight and heat of that strong body atop hers, she’d made up her mind to simply go with this and see what happened. It wasn’t like they were going to get serious—she was only here for another day, and she was based over a thousand miles from him.
“I brought you this instead of flowers. But I confess it was for partially selfish reasons, since it’s my favorite kind.” A glass or two would shut that damn whisper up completely.
“Come on in and I’ll pour you a glass,” he said, stepping out of the way.
She slipped off her heels inside the door and followed him into the kitchen, breathing in the scent of something spicy and rich. “Do I smell Mexican?”
“You do,” he said, looking up from uncorking the wine. “Is that okay?”
“It’s great. What did you make?”
“Chicken enchiladas with roasted tomatillo sauce, and a black bean and vegetable salad.”
She lifted her eyebrows. “Wow. I was expecting steaks. Or maybe Hungry Man dinners.”
His boyish grin made her heart trip. “I looked up a recipe online. Hope it doesn’t suck.”
So cute, that he’d picked it out for her. “Anything that smells that good can’t suck.”
He handed her the glass of wine. “For the lady.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, warmth spreading into her cheeks from the way he looked at her. Like he was already thinking about what would happen after dinner, and she’d bet it involved more than just kissing. It was a lot different being alone with him, without Autumn to act as a buffer.
With a kitchen towel draped over one broad shoulder, he turned back to the ingredients he’d laid out on the counter.
“You’re not having any wine?” she asked. She knew she should have bought beer instead.
“No, I’m good with water,” he said, and she watched in amazement as he picked up a husked corn of cob with a pair of barbecue tongs and began roasting them on a grill pan on the stove.