Page 53 of Stand Fast

Dammit. “Jaliya, wait.” He ran faster, barely noticing the cold, his only concern for her.

She broke into a jog and ripped the door open to her temporary quarters. It slammed in his face as he reached it.

Cursing, Zaid wrenched it open. The hallway was empty. She must already be in her room.

He kept his steps quiet as he hurried across the linoleum floor and stopped at the door to her room. He knocked softly. “Jaliya.”

No answer.

“Jaliya.”

“No.”

To hell with that. She was hurting and there was no way he was walking away from her right now, even if his actions confirmed to Taggart and Hamilton that they were together.

Pulling a ballpoint pen from his pocket, he took it apart, then set about picking the lock on her door. Within thirty seconds he had it unlocked and pushed it open.

Jaliya spun away from him to face the far wall, her spine rigid, her long, inky hair spilling down her back in thick waves. Her hijab lay crumpled on the floor next to her bed, and with each choppy intake of breath, her shoulders shook.

Zaid’s heart squeezed. “Hey.”

She didn’t respond, didn’t move as he shut the door and crossed the room, but flinched when he put his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t,” she begged, shrugging away as though she couldn’t bear his touch.

No. No way he’d let her suffer through this alone. He’d vowed not to get involved with anyone, but it was way too late for that now. She needed him, end of story.

“Come here,” he murmured. Ignoring her protests, he spun her around and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight to his chest.

JALIYA’S INITIAL REACTION was to struggle. She started to bring her hands up, ready to shove him away. Zaid just held her tighter, those strong, hard arms banded around her back. And when he slipped one hand into her hair to bring her face against his shoulder, something inside her broke.

She bit her lip as a sob tried to tear free. Instead of pushing away she burrowed closer, reaching around his ribs to grip handfuls of his sand-colored tactical shirt.

“It’s my fault,” she gasped out, speaking the terrible, painful truth aloud.

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is. I sent them out there.”

“A dozen other people signed off on the op too, including their CO. They all knew to expect armed resistance.”

“But I got it wrong.” Her voice was muffled by his chest. “I didn’t realize how outnumbered they’d be.”

“You couldn’t have. No one could have. Shit happens all the time on ops. They were as prepared as they could be, and you gave them the best intel you had available.”

“I got them attacked, and some of themkilled. And The Jackal wasn’t even there,” she finished, her voice shredding as she pressed her face against his pec.

She was directly responsible for those men suffering and dying, and it confirmed her worst fear. Her father was right; she didn’t have what it took to do this job, and it had taken losing those men for her to get past her stupid fucking pride and realize it.

“You didn’t get them killed. Every one of those men knew the risks when they went out there tonight. And every single one of them would do it all again tomorrow. It’s their job.” Just like it was his. “They signed up for this. Don’t take their bravery away from them. They died doing what they believed in.”

He laid his cheek on the top of her head, one hand stroking through her hair. She didn’t deserve the comfort or his care, but he didn’t seem to understand that. “We all know the risks and what can happen out there. It could just have easily been my team when we went out to search our target tonight.”

“Oh God, don’t. Don’t say that.” She hugged him closer, unable to bear the thought of him being wounded or killed in the line of duty, much less on an op planned based solely on her intel. “I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you. You hear me?”

“I hear you. And here I am, safe and sound.”

Yes. This time. And as selfish as it made her, she was so damn grateful he hadn’t been one of the men bleeding out on the flight back to base.

His arms were so strong around her. Protecting and comforting her. Somehow he’d escaped injury during the dangerous rescue and was holding her now.

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