Page 25 of Stand Fast

She rolled her eyes, looking so much like her mother in that instant that it startled him. “I always worry about you, Dad.”

A wave of emotion hit him. How could he not love this child with every fiber of his being? “I know you do. But I promise I’ll be okay. You know I hate you worrying about me. I just wish I could have spent Christmas with you.” He hated being away from her for big events and holidays.

“It’s okay. You can’t help it.”

Reid’s throat thickened. It was little things like that, little comments that showed a maturity well beyond her years, that hit him hardest. She never played the pity card or laid guilt trips on him for being away from her so much.

Did she really understand why he was so dedicated to his job? Did she secretly feel like he was always letting her down, or choosing his job over her? The last thing he wanted was for her to constantly stress about his safety.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Why don’t you open your present so I can see?”

Her expression brightened. “Okay.” She set the parcel on the desk and began tearing at the paper to reveal the books he’d bought her. “Wow, you got me the whole Harry Potter series!” she cried.

“Only the best for my little bookworm. And there’s something taped to the top of the box, too.”

She tipped it toward her and tore off the envelope he’d attached. When she saw the brochure inside it she gasped, her whole face lighting up as she looked back at the computer screen. “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! You’re taking me to UniversalStudios?!” Her eyes were huge with surprise and hope.

“Yes, ma’am. Orlando, sometime this spring, just you and me. We can hit Disney World while we’re there too. I’m back home at the end of March, so we’ll set a date for sometime in April. Not Easter, because that would be too busy.” Not to mention impossible, since Sarah always insisted Autumn be with her family for the long weekend. “That sound okay to you?”

“Yes! I’m so excited—you’re the best dadever.” She clutched the brochure to her chest like it was the most precious thing anyone had ever given her and beamed at him.

He winced internally as her words struck him in the heart.I’m doing my best, baby girl.But maybe his best wasn’t good enough. “Anyway, fill me in on the latest with you. You excited about going skiing over the break?”

“Not really. I’m glad I get time off school, though. You got my pictures from the Christmas play, right?”

He’d replied to her email as soon as he’d received it, but maybe Sarah hadn’t told her. “I did, and I wrote back right away. You looked like anactualangel.”

She laughed. “Dad, all four of us did.”

“Nope. The others looked like girls dressed up as angels. You looked like a real one. And you sang like one too.”

Her cheeks flushed and she glanced away almost bashfully, but Reid could tell she was pleased by the compliment. He considered it one of his most important tasks as a father to make sure she had a solid sense of confidence and self-worth. “Yeah, okay.”

He propped his chin in his hand. “What else have you got planned for the holidays?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Gifts at Gram and Gramp’s after breakfast, then church and over to Uncle Tom’s after that. Tomorrow we’re going to see Max’s parents, and then we—” She stopped and looked behind her as someone entered the room.

Reid fought to keep his expression neutral when he caught sight of the light brown hair and familiar profile at the back of the room. Sarah.

His ex said something to Autumn that he didn’t catch, and stood there with her arms folded, a cold expression on her face.

“But Mom, we’ve only been talking for a few minutes. Can’t I have a little more time?”

Sarah gave an emphatic shake of her head. “No. I told you what time we had to leave. Now say goodbye and get in the car. Hurry.”

She walked out of view without so much as ahey,Merry Christmasorkiss my assto him, and Reid wasn’t sorry to see her go. He had to work to put on a smile for his daughter as she turned back to him with a crestfallen expression that broke his heart. “Sorry, Dad. Guess I have to go.”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t okay, it was total bullshit, but again, that wasn’t Autumn’s problem. He got that Sarah hated being a single parent while he was away; he just wished he could figure out a way to make peace with her so they could all move forward in a healthy way. “It was good to see you and hear your voice. I miss you like crazy.”

Autumn’s face crumpled and her voice turned rough. “I miss you too, Dad.”

Aw, shit, the sight of her fighting back tears just sliced him up inside. “Don’t cry, baby. We’ll set up another call in a few days or something, okay? And you can always email me.”

She nodded, visibly fought back her tears. “Okay. You be safe.”

“I will be safe. Promise. Love you, and have a good Christmas.”

Her expression was pure misery, nothing like what a little girl’s face should look like on Christmas Day, when she should have been beside herself with excitement about what presents might be waiting for her at her grandparents’ place. “You too. Love you.”

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