I run to Mana.
I run to Kaleb.
I run to Lethe.
I run to Bowen.
I only hope I’m not too late.
Chapter Thirty
Silence in the Stones
Mana
I want to resurrect the angel and kill him all over again, but I left Hell for a reason, and not unaliving others is supposed to be a large part of my not-so-eternal reprieve.
Not that any of that is happening in this endless hell of my own making. I should never have left my sire’s side in the first place. The hell was I thinking, pushing out on my own? Even a demon of my caliber isn’t built to survive the sins of this plane. Apparently, imposter syndrome hits the most resilient of beasts in their weakest moments.
The ongoing torments of a population determined to tear themselves apart in their short lifespan is more than any demon can do in a thousand years, beating down on themselves in a perpetual cycle of hate and destruction and self-indulgent misery.
And love.
Of all this worthless mound of dirt has to offer, love is by far its most wretched construct. Because at the center of all the pain and longing to belong to one another is this lifelong fear of not only attaining someone’s achievable desire but the fear daily—by the minute—of losing them. And now I have.
Adreana won’t return to us. Me. Harken. The walls may as well crack and shatter now for the emptiness that fills each stone, and there are thousands. Hundreds of thousands. I should know. I used to be able to count the occupants imprisoned there.
But it seems my previous tenant ate their sins and consumed their wretched souls, leaving me the master of an empty kingdom.
Empty, worthless. Loveless.
All the things I hate about this world I now suffer alone. Without her.
“Fuck!”I roar, slamming my fists into my desk, through the hardwood.
Like the walls I imagined cracking a moment before, the surface splinters straight down the middle. The desk bows, tilting on its axis as the legs fail to hold the broken pieces together. Heedless of their capacity reached, I lean my full weight on my palms, hanging my head low. My shoulders scream with the strain, but I don’t care.
Nothing matters anymore. Not the life I tried to build here, not the years put into this place, the meaningless existence within Harken that only took on some speck of value whenshecame into my life.
Now all that is extinguished and I’m too fucking tired to deal with the fallout. Hell, all I need is some mortal to join us and bring a squad of red and blue flashing lights to my door. Maybe they can cart me away to a safer place where I’ll be given my own padded room, a jacket with no end, and a door no key can open from the inside.
My lips quirk. Hell on Earth. It sounds perfect.
Footsteps interrupt my reverie. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, blocking out the flat thuds like a toddler hiding behind his hands. But even that attempt at self-deception can’t save me from myself as their owner draws ever closer.
Lethe has more sense than to approach me now. It must be Kaleb, ever senseless and suicidal.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I grouse, neck-deep in my bout of self-loathing, and enjoying my solitary bout of misery far too much.
Whoever said misery loves company was full of shit. Solitude is where it’s at. Give me that white, round room and atwo-way window where I can entertain a cohort of shrinks for the rest of my immortal existence.
“Mana. This place. You need to leave it.” Addi’s soft voice shreds through my defenses without an inch of effort. “Come with me.”
I swing around to face her, untempered rage blazing from my every pore. “How the hell did you get in here?” I rasp, gripping the desk’s shattered parts to keep myself from wrapping my hands around her neck and squeezing.
Or from kissing her and falling to my knees. If I do that, I’ll never rise again.
She stares at me, the pulse at the base of her throat fluttering wildly. “I— the door was open. The floor. The walls…” She swallows, raising sanguine-coated fingertips to her face and turning them outward to show me. “What happened here?”