Page 88 of Please Remember

"It all comes down to Jax," Parsons says. "Heidi Moran wanted to hold her back a year, which would take her out of classes with Jax. The psychiatrist believes that was the moment when her psyche broke. That's when Natalie Gill was born."

I swallow the rising bile because there's nowhere to vomit in here. Nowhere besides my makeshift toilet, and I think that would be a never-ending carousel I’d never get off once it started.

"Laura and Natalie are the same person," Benji says. "I can't wrap my head around it."

"Laura wasthe person you all knew. The one in love with Jax who followed him around. Natalie was the one who did all of the bad things Laura wanted to do," Shields says.

"So... when I thought she was talking on the phone all those times, she wasn't really on the phone, was she?" Drew asks.

"No, she was likely talking to herself," she says. "Natalie had a phone and rented this house, but she never made one phone call or text, and all payments came from Laura's bank account."

Jax bends over and rests his hands on his knees. "This was all because of me?"

"It's not your fault," I say and walk over to him. "You were the object of her obsession, and there's nothing you could have done."

"She almost killed you, and then she held you hostage in this shithole prison for seven years. Because she wantedme. How can I not think this is my fault, Allie? How can you... how can you look at me and not hate me? I mean, I look around here, andIhate me because she did this. Because she wanted me to herself."

I wrap my arms around him and force him to stand upright. "You are only in control of yourself. You couldn't have stopped her. We all thought Laura was harmless, remember? Annoying and always around, but she never seemed threatening. I know I never looked at her and thought she would hurt me one day."

Sage nods in agreement. "I always thought I could take her, if needed. I only thought about it a handful of times since the fifth grade, but I never thought she'd beat me."

"When it comes to Laura, you probably could have," Parsons says. "But Natalie may have been a different story. We saw the shift when Laura became Natalie, and it was the creepiest thing I've ever seen."

"She described herself as a five-foot-ten woman with charcoal hair and a strong build. Claims she placed second in shotput in high school," Shields says. "When she had her outburst, it took four of us to subdue her while the doctor sedated her."

"That's oddly specific for a made-up person, isn't it?" I ask, my arms still around Jax who trembles.

"She created an entire personality and life for Natalie. She was extremely thorough."

Standing in silence, it seems none of us quite know what to say. My boyfriend and friends now know firsthand what life was like for me when I was gone, and it's a strange feeling. Part of me wishes they hadn't come down here to keep them from truly visualizing this because it's a lot to digest.

"There's something else," Parsons says. "More of an interesting something than evidence. While we talked to Laura's mother, she confirmed she’d known Laura needed help for some time. She tried for years, but Laura always resisted. She's extremely intelligent and knew how to answer the questions correctly to stay out of treatment. Her mother never knew Natalie's name, but when she was told, she was in tears. Laura was originally a twin, and her twin died in the womb."

"Why did Natalie's name make her cry?" Drew asks, his face scrunched in what looks like disgust.

"Because Natalie was the name they gave the one who died. They never told Laura, and it's not documented anywhere."

I look at Sage, and she looks as freaked out as I feel. "What's going to happen to Laura?"

"She's been admitted to the state mental facility. She's getting treatment, but right now, Natalie appears to be the dominant personality. She made her appearance when we confronted Laura with theevidence, and we've been told they haven't seen Laura since," Shields says.

"The doctor believes that with Natalie being in control, she took the blame for Laura. Laura is free, in their shared mind, which is why Natalie's the one everyone sees," Parsons says.

The information hits me like a train. "I almost feel bad for her."

"I don't," Jax says, his voice hard. "I hope they lock her up, throw away the key, and give her lots of shock therapy."

"This isn't your fault," I say.

"It feels like it's my fault."

"We're going to leave here, and we are never going to come back. There won't be any more conversations about what my life was like here because it's over, and we're going to move forward. The only person responsible for this is Laura. Or Natalie. Whomever. Okay?"

Nodding, he rubs his hand over his face. "Okay."

"I think getting out of here and never talking about this again is the best idea I've ever heard," Sage says. "Except when I tell this to my therapist because holy shit is this messed up."

We walk up the stairs and stop outside. "Jax?"

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