Page 56 of Please Remember

“You refuse to see it. There are still parts of me that are broken, and you just ignore them. You want everything to be perfect and back to normal, and I feel that way some of the time, but not all the time. Not as often as you think I do.”

Blinking, I try and process what she’s just said. It doesn’t make sense. “What do you mean?”

She holds up a hand, and I see the bandage on her palm from last night. She dropped a dish while cleaning up after dinner, something she told me to let her do because she knew I wanted to watch the game.

“Do you know why this happened?”

“Because the dish soap made the plate slippery, and you dropped it. It’s okay, Allie. I told you that last night.”

Shaking her head, Allie sighs. “It wasn’t because it was slippery. You clapped.”

I stare at her as I try to put the pieces together. “What?”

“Something happened in the game, and you clapped. You were excited, and I understand it now, but I broke the dish because you clapped.”

Clapped. Clapped. I don’t understand the correlation. “Did I startle you?”

“That’s how they communicated in the basement. I tried to finish washing the dish quicker when I heard the clap, and for a moment, I was back in that dark place. It was the signal to hurry up, and I panicked. I’m really good at pretending, Jax, but things aren’t as perfect as you want everyone to believe. Even yourself. I’m not Old Allie.”

Shit, how could I have forgotten?“I’m sorry. I… I won’t do it again. Just, please… Please stay.”

She swallows and looks into my eyes as tears fall. "I need some space, Jax. And I think you need some, too."

Iwant to scream and shout out “No!” but I can’t do anything. Have I really been ignoring the subtle hints that Allie’s not as okay as she wants me to believe? Am I really that ignorant? Delusional.

"I'll take care of her," Sage promises. "And I'll make sure the detectives know she's staying at my place for a while, okay?"

I just nod as I watch them leave, staring after Sage’s car while the cop car parked out front turns and follows them. I screwed up. I really screwed up. And with no other choice, I walk inside and grab another beer.

"What happened?" Seth asks.

"I'm a moron. I completely forgot that she doesn't remember and left her alone. I didn't even think to let Sage know to be here," I say.

Benji slaps his hand on my shoulder. "It's an easy oversight, man."

"I should've been more considerate. It’s just... things have been so normal. It was like she was back with me, and now she's not."

"What does that mean?" Drew asks.

"She thinks I'm trying to force her into being Old Allie. That's what she calls the version we remember—Old Allie," I say and take a long drink of the beer.

Shrugging, Benji's hand falls. "I hate to say it, man, but it does kind of sound that way from what you've told us since she's been home."

"Maybe we should plan something to reintroduce her to us. And us to her. Make it so she has friendly faces when we get together," Drew offers.

"You never know what could trigger a memory," Seth says with a nod.

Rubbing my face, I sit on the steps of the back deck. "What if she's right? What if I can't accept that she's not the same Allie as before?"

"Do you love her?" my brother asks.

"Of course I do!"

"Even if she doesn't remember you?"

I glare at him. "The fact that she doesn't remember me doesn't change anything. I've loved her since I was seventeen. Like Sage says, she may not know us, but we know her."

"Then you have to push past it. Make her your priority and ensure she's comfortable when it's not just the two of you. We all gotta make new memories."

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