Page 55 of Please Remember

She gestures around our gathered circle. "Who's missing, Jax?"

"We forgot to invite Sage!" Benji says, smacking himself on the forehead.

No, that's not who she's talking about. My heart sinks to my stomach. I left Allie inside with my parents like I'd always done because Allie usually wanted to help Mom out, even though Mom wouldn't let her lift a finger.

"I'll go talk to her."

"She's leaving," Dad says as he walks out.

"What?"

He nods, and I see the disappointment on his face. "She's waiting for Sage to pick her up. Already talked to the cop to let him know where she's going. I don't know what you were thinking, Jax."

Running through the house, I find her sitting on the front porch, her arms wrapped around her knees. "Allie, I'm so sorry. I was used to you just hanging out in the kitchen with Mom until she told you she wasn'tgoing to let you touch anything, and then you'd come out and join us. I wasn't thinking."

Her chin rests on her knees, and she doesn't look at me. "You want Old Allie, but she's not here, Jax. It's easy to pretend that's not the case when we're alone, but the first time we do something that isn't just us, it's a lot harder to look past."

"That's not true—"

"This is the first time I remember meeting your parents, and you just left me there without even an introduction. I didn't know their names, and then you stayed outside talking to people I don't know. Old Allie probably knows, but New Allie doesn't."

"Allie—"

"I don't know that I fit in your world outside of our little bubble, Jax. It's too easy for you to forget New Allie's here, not Old Allie."

"Baby, that's not true. I screwed up, okay? I wasn't thinking, and I was an inconsiderate jackass. It's just... everything has felt so natural recently that I forgot things aren't the exact same as they were before. That we aren't the us from seven years ago. I'm really sorry."

Letting out a sigh, she shakes her head. "You made me feel silly for being anxious to come here. Both when you told me about it and right outside the house tonight. It never crossed your mind to even do introductions, and I get it. It's silly. Old Allie's known these people for over a decade, closer to two, but this Allie, the new one, doesn't. I don't even know myself most of the time, and I'm uncovering a little bit here and there as I go, but it’s not the same. You want things to be the same, and I do, too. But they're not. They're just… not."

"Baby—"

"I had to ask your mom—whose name I didn’t know—if she had Sage's number, so she could call her because I left my phoneat the house. It was embarrassing, but worse than that, I saw the hurt in her eyes when she remembered I have no idea who she is. All I do is hurt people, and there was no buffer to help ease that, Jax. That's supposed to be you. You or Sage, but Sage wasn't invited tonight."

"We realized we forgot to include her—"

"I can't help but feel like we're trying to force me into a life that isn't mine. I don't fit in."

Sage pulls into the driveway, and I hate the fact none of us thought to reach out to her. That Allie was the one who always included her in everything before, and we forgot. I'm such an idiot.

"Is everything okay?" Sage asks as she walks up to meet us.

Allie stands and sighs. "Can I stay with you for a while?"

"Of course."

"Allie, please, don't. Stay, and I'll introduce you to everyone. I should've made sure Sage knew to be here, too. God, Sage, I'm sorry. Both of you should stay," I say, praying she'll give this another chance.

Sage looks around. "I didn't get an invite to the party? Ouch, Jax."

I know she's joking, but I can't smile when I see the tears in Allie's eyes. "Allie—"

"I can't be the person you want. I don't remember, and you really, really want that version of me back so badly you forgot she was gone. You're stuck with me, and I'm sorry for that."

"No—"

"Old Allie is gone. She doesn't exist anymore. I'd give anything to give her to you, but I'm not her. And I'm starting to think we're at the point that pretending that I can fit into that Allie-shaped hole in your life doesn't work anymore. This might've been a mistake."

"Allie, no," I beg, my breath catching in my chest.

---