Page 51 of Please Remember

"Maybe."

"Plus!" I shout. "Plus, she cried! Who does that?"

"Her?" Natalie offers with a shrug.

Rubbing my temples with my fingers, I let out a sigh. "Who the hell cries after sex? It was obviously good. Boring as hell, but she cried out like he pushed the right buttons."

"It was basically her first time. She doesn't remember any other time. She’s just lucky she didn’t have to relive the pain of losing her virginity again. God, that hurt.”

I just shake my head. I remember my first time. Before I got my boob job, I couldn't pay a man in town to strip me naked. I had to wait until I turned twenty-one when I could afford the operation, and then I lost my virginity to some drunken jerk. It didn't hurt like everyone always said it would. Not like Natalie who lost hers when she was far too young. Carried on an affair with the guy for two years, although I don't know who it was. She said it was a way to get something she needed, but I think she’s ashamed of whoever it was.

"Did you come every time you had sex with Jax?" Natalie asks.

I blink at her. "What?"

Risking a glance at the screen, I notice Jax is now down between her legs, making her cry out as her body shakes. He slides back up and enters her. Again, without a condom.

"I'm just wondering because you two never seemed to have sex this long. Or immediately again afterwards. At least, not that you told me."

"I came most of the time, but if I didn’t, he’d help me along with his hand. We never had sex more than once in a day. He did manually get me off twice before we had anal for the first time."

"How often did you do it?"

Shrugging, I act like I don't remember, but I do. Three. He only did it three times, and all three times, I suggested it. I thought maybe he was just too shy to ask for it, but maybe he wasn't as into it as most guys are.

Jax flips Allie over so she's on top, and we both watch her ride him. The look on his face makes my stomach ache. He looks happy. He never looked that happy when we were together. No matter what I did, he never looked like this. I tried. I tried everything. Seeing them like this makes me think maybe there's no point in pursuing him. Maybe I should just give up.

No! You will not give up, Laura Naomi Dawson. That is your man, and you will get him back. You just have to stick to the plan.

"Can I close this now?" Natalie asks. "I feel like a Peeping Tom."

“No, I need to see if there’s more,” I say, taking the seat as she stands.

I click through the videos, and aside from the times after coitus they sleep, everything is sex. Multiple times and multiple ways.

Slamming the laptop shut, I shake. "Yeah, you’re right. I don't need to see or hear any more."

"Drink?"

"Please," I say as Natalie goes to the liquor cabinet. "Strong and keep them coming."

Chapter Twenty-One

Allie

One of the benefits of being videotaped having sex is that it helps you learn what to do in the bedroom. It should creep me out, but the truth is, I find it oddly sexy. It's something meant for just the two of us; only our eyes have seen the videos. Recently, I’ve made it my mission to study and recreate a few of the tamer ones.

The desire to be with Jax has only intensified since we first got intimate, and it's progressively gotten kinkier without getting too crazy. He still won't let me go down on him, though. Every time I try, he has an excuse not to. I’ve searched for a video he has of the two of us where I'm pleasing him with my mouth, but there doesn't seem to be one. I'm not sure whether I should be upset or not. Part of me wants to ask Laura if she ever did that with Jax, but I also know that if she confirms it, lie or not, I'll want to strike her.

Sage wasn't wrong when she said I have a jealous streak when it comes to Jax. Just the thought of him being with Laura makes me crazy now. I can't figure out how to explain it to him, though, so we just avoid all conversation about her. I still haven't told him about her coming tovisit that day, and I haven't mentioned anything to him about Danny Tomlin, either.

My phone rings in the living room, and I stand, pulling a robe around me to go and answer it.

"You don't need to cover yourself," Jax says with his hands behind his head. "I love looking at you walking around naked."

"I don't know that I want the neighbors to have an opinion on whether or not they do, though," I say back.

"Good point."

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