Page 43 of Please Remember

"You loved that car. When no one was able to find any trace of your car, we knew it wasn't just you taking off. Not that you would have, either. If you had, you would've gone with Jax. Taken the roof and doorsoff and gone off-roading somewhere together. You said it made you feel free," Sage says.

Allie stands and walks into the living room where all of the pictures are, and she comes back holding one. "Is this mine?"

"Yep," Sage says as she smiles. "You drove Drew, Benji, and me out to the lake that weekend. It was when we learned we had to wear seat belts when you were driving because we took a detour through some road off the beaten path and almost flew out. It was so much fun."

Yep, everyone would get invited to the lake house except me unless I found out about it and invited myself. I was always overlooked, and it wasn't until Jax and I started dating that people actually thought to extend an invitation to me as well. I know it was more of a courtesy to him, but at least people remembered me. That's another thing that will go away again.

"Do you remember anything about your time with your captor?" I ask, curious about where she was. This could be where Allie slips up, and the thought has me listening intently.

My shin smarts as Sage kicks me and glares. "You do not have to answer that, Allie," she says.

"It's okay. Everyone's curious. It's human nature, right? I only remember ever being there until I escaped. My concept of time was off because of the head injury, and then the visits weren’t consistent enough to know for certain how long I was down there."

"Head injury?"

Sage rolls her eyes. "I know you were at the hospital when Jax told us about it."

Rather than brush off my question like Sage does, Allie parts her hair and shows me a six-inch scar on her scalp. For the first time, I realize just how serious this may be. "Oh my God."

She could have done that to herself, too.

"Is that why you can't remember?" I ask.

Allie shrugs. "Very possibly. The doctor said it could also be a trauma response. I looked it up because I didn't really understand, but I guess some victims find it easier to forget their life before their abduction to make living through whatever conditions they’re in easier. Basically, if you can't remember when life was good, what you're going through doesn't seem quite so bad. No reference point, you know? But they also think there may be a trigger that will bring everything back, too."

"What kind of trigger?"

"No one really knows. The only way I can describe what it feels like is if you had a jar of keys and one lock. One of those keys may be the one to unlock it, or none of them could be. It's really frustrating."

"So, there's a chance you might not remember?"

Sage shoots me another angry look, but Allie just nods sadly. "It's a possibility. I want to remember, though. Jax has all these memories he keeps sharing, same with Sage, and I want to remember everyone like they do me. I just... I can't. There's nothing there except what I've been told or what I've experienced since I came home."

"It's got to be hard not having sex with him, too," I say.

"How do you know they're not having sex?" Sage asks quickly.

I know I screwed up right then. "I'm assuming. Allie doesn't seem like she's in a... state to jump right into bed with him."

Every night, I watch them sleeping in the same bed. The bed he never let me sleep in. They kiss sometimes, and Jax gets up with a hard-on to take care of it based on the fact he comes back without a tent in his sweatpants, but that's about it. Nothing even remotely sexual, which means I was the last person he had sex with. The thought makes me happy.

"I don't think I should talk about anything like that with you, Laura," Allie says. "It seems kind of insensitive."

"No worries. Like I said, we were friends before this terrible tragedy happened. And I'm sure you'll remember. It'll all come back to you," I say. "If not, Jax will settle for making new memories with you."

"What the hell do you mean by 'settle?'" Sage asks, and I can see the protective side of her coming out.

Bingo. I know I hit a nerve as Allie looks concerned, which makes Sage even more pissed off. "I didn't mean anything by it. Jax is just happy to have you home, Allie."

"I think it's time for you to leave," Sage growls.

I stand and hope the look I give them looks remorseful rather than full of glee. "I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I really am glad you're home, Allie."

"Thank you, Laura. And, uh, I'm sorry. I kind of blew up your plans. I had no idea who I was, let alone what was going on in Jax's life when I showed up on his doorstep."

"I know," I say with a smile before Sage all but kicks me out the front door.

I walk to my car and sit in the driver's seat, taking a few deep breaths before pulling away from the house. I smile at the cop as I drive by him, but I can't wait until I get home. Pulling over on the side of the street three blocks down, I scream.

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