Page 30 of Please Remember

"Because everyone, including you, told me I needed to move on! It was never going to feel right being with someone who wasn't Allie, and Laura, at least, was comfortable—familiar. I never wanted anyone but Allie. Not since the day I really got to know her."

Sighing, he taps his fingers on the table. "We just wanted you to be happy, man. We thought if you could just get over the first step, you'd start to heal."

"It was never going to go away. The pain. And I didn't really want it to unless Allie came back," I admit. "But I know I became someone you probably didn’t recognize. I was a terrible friend because I just wanted to be alone." Shame floods me at my admission, and I begin to fidget on the chair.

"Knowing what we know now, I wish we'd let you. Now, what did you do that was so stupid?"

I swallow and avoid his eyes. "She texted and wanted to talk. I felt like I owed her that much because I do feel guilty for always half-assing the relationship. I never gave her anything that even you give a girl if you actually date her."

"Jeez, and she still wanted to marry you?"

"I guess so. I showed up, and she didn't answer. I go inside, thinking maybe she's in the bathroom or something, and I find her in thebedroom wearing... I don't even know what the hell it's called. It's not normal lingerie."

Benji’s eyes widen. "What'd it look like?"

"Like straps, honestly. There was nothing covered except for small patches of what I think was supposed to be lace, and it was crotchless."

"Sounds like a playsuit." When I give him a concerned look, he holds his hands up. "Hey, I appreciate the female body, and I've purchased more lingerie than the average guy for the girls I date."

"Anyway, she acted surprised to see me."

He rolls his eyes. "Totally planned and faked."

"Yeah, I know. She grabbed a robe and pretended to be bashful that I saw her, but she kept it loose. And there's a lot you can say about Laura, but you've seen her tits. They're..."

"Beautiful. She paid a pretty penny for those things, and they were worth every cent," Benji finishes for me.

Nodding, I let out a shaky breath. "She went on about whether she should really cancel all of the plans and how much money we're out. I told her that was for the best, and then she attacked me."

"Attacked you?"

"Dropped her robe and kissed me. I was momentarily not myself."

Benji huffs. "You fucked her!"

"Only a little."

He jumps up, half laughing and half shocked. "You did?"

I stand and hold my hands up. "I didn't mean to. It just... kind of happened. But it stopped. I didn't get either of us to the finish line."

"How?" he asks, shaking his head. "How did... okay, walk me through this."

"When she kissed me, I just kind of reacted. Plus, her tits were right fucking there. Which, of course, had its own effects because I'm a boobman. I don't even remember her pulling my pants down to my knees, but the next thing I know, I'm sitting on the chair in the bedroom, and she's sinking onto me."

Eyes wide, he just blinks. "You never made it to the bed?"

"No. Not sure I could've without falling since my pants and boxers were still there, just, you know, lower."

"Okay, go on."

"She started... you know."

"Riding you?"

Hearing him say it makes me feel like I've betrayed Allie even more than I have. "Yes."

"But you didn't finish? And neither did she?"

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