Page 26 of Please Remember

"I gave you all of me. Everything I had, I gave to you," I say with a humorless laugh. "This whole thing, the lingerie, was planned. I honestly thought that if I could remind you how much your body responded to mine, how good I can make you feel, that you'd realize you do love me. That it wouldn't be so easy to walk away."

"Sex was never a problem for us. You got a little too adventurous for me at times, and we did things I wasn't overly excited about, but it was never boring. And it was good. It's everything outside the bedroom that didn't work."

"Because sex is just sex to you?" I ask, choosing not to read too much into his comment about my willingness to give him anything he could ever dream of.

Chuckling, he glances at the ground. "I'm a dude, and I'd gone five years without sex. And sex didn't have to be more than just physical for us. It was an outlet for me, but as soon as the orgasm ended, reality came back. And I always felt like I was cheating on Allie when we were done. That's why I didn't stay the night. It felt wrong and shameful."

"And what happens if Allie never remembers, Jax? What if she doesn't want to be with you?"

He snaps his head up and glares at me. "She will remember, Laura. I know she will."

"But how long will it take? And what if she decides she wants nothing to do with you before she does? Then what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to marry you because she might decide she doesn't want to be with me. That she won't believe that she loves me. That would be stupid. She's the one. She's always been the one."

"And you're the one for me," I say, the tears falling. It hurts to see he doesn't seem to care as much as I do. "Just because she came back doesn't mean I stop loving you."

He looks away as he runs his hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never set out to do that because you have been such a great friend. I really am sorry."

"If she decides that she wants nothing to do with you before she remembers, I can't promise I'll be sitting around waiting for you. I don't know that I'll be here when you want to come back."

"I won't want to come back. And I don't want you to wait for me. You'll be waiting forever, and that's not fair to you. It's also not fair to me because it makes me feel even worse. I wish you didn't love me. If I could find a way to take away those feelings, I would. I would gladly help you fall out of love with me, if I could."

"If she rejects you, you still wouldn't want me?"

"Why would you want me?"

Blinking, my brows knit together. "Are you serious? I've been in love with you forever."

"Laura, you deserve to be loved by someone the way I love Allie. The way I know she loves me even if she doesn't remember it. Why would you want someone who settles for you? A person who would come to you simply because their first choice rejected them? You should have more self-respect than that."

"That's rich coming from the man who will wait around for a woman who doesn't remember she even knows him, let alone loves him."

"It's different, and you know it," he snaps. "I have a chance at getting the love of my life back. She's been through hell, and she was hit so hard she has a six-inch scar on her scalp. That's the reason she doesn't remember. It's physical, not emotional."

I laugh and shake my head. "That you know of."

"Is this what you wanted to talk about? Because I think we're done."

"Yeah, I guess we are," I say, my voice cracking. "I'll finish canceling everything."

"Do you want help with it?"

Shaking my head, I can't look at him. "The only thing you could help with you refuse to do. You can just go. I'll be fine."

"Laura, I am sorry."

"You've said that already," I say and sniffle. "I'm a big girl. I've been alone before, and I can do it again. I'll figure out how to navigate my life now. I'll be fine."

He doesn't say another word as he walks out of the house, and I collapse onto the bed, burying my head into a pillow as I sob. I can't believe he rejected me as I rode him. I've given him all of me, and he will never love me.Shewill always be in the way. I had my entire world at my fingertips, and I let it slip away. But I refuse to let it disappear again if I get another shot. I just need to do what I can to force Allie away from Jax. It's my only hope.

Chapter Twelve

Allie

Walking along the gravel road with the two detectives while looking at houses feels pointless. Nothing looks familiar. And being out here, knowing I was likely in a basement somewhere nearby, has me feeling oddly exposed and raw.

"Was the house far from the woods, or were the woods practically in the backyard?" Detective Shields asks.

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