Page 19 of Please Remember

I sniffle and look at her. "You're right. Allie might not fall in love with him. Maybe that hit on the head Jax mentioned completely blinded her, too."

"Okay, Sarcastic Susan. But maybe someone couldtalkto Allie. Make her question whether or not Jax is the man she wants to be with. Maybesomeonecan tell her a few things that plants doubt into her mind. You know... help her make that decision."

"But do I want him simply because he knows he can't have Allie?"

Natalie shrugs. "That's up to you. I know how much you've wanted this. You've loved him since we met when we were thirteen years old."

"I really have."

"So, stop trying to cancel everything right now. The wedding is nine months away. There's plenty of time for him to come around. And I'm certain you can convince him of what he's missing."

"He took the house off the market," I say, and she can't hide her grimace. "Exactly. The house he felt more pain over losing than walking away from me. The precious house he bought with his precious Allie over eight years ago."

"What can I do?”

Twisting my hands together in my lap, I shake my head. "There's nothing. It was stupid of me to think Jax could ever love me."

"He did. That ring on your finger shows you he did. It may not be in the way you deserved to be loved, but he did love you. As much as hewas capable of, anyway. And he might be capable of loving you like you deserve if Allie rejects him."

"Am I terrible person for saying that I'd always kind of hoped we'd find Allie's body? Not Allie but her remains. Bones."

Sighing, Natalie shakes her head. "Considering the circumstances, I don't think that makes you a terrible person. I think it makes you a sad ex-fiancée."

Clearing my throat, I reach for one of the jars of candied almonds and roll it around, the little coated nuts in pastel colors making an annoying sound on the glass of the jar. "No, I'm happy Allie's alive. I hope she can adjust to the world again. That she remembers and lives happily ever after with the love ofmylife while she hasmywedding withmyhusband and living in what should bemyhouse!"

I chuck the jar at the wall, bursting into tears as the glass breaks and sends broken shards and almonds scattering across the floor. Bending forward, I fold my arms on my lap and tuck my head into them while I sob.

"Hey," Natalie says as she rubs my back, "a lot can happen between now and the wedding."

"Give it up, Natalie," I bite back. "Even if I can find a way to push Allie and Jax apart, I'm not getting my happily ever after. Even if things aren’t the same and don't work out, it took him five years to think about dating again. It'll take another ten for him to ever look at me as more than the friend who was there every single day to be the shoulder he needed to cry on. It's done. It's over. I've lost."

“Yeah, with that attitude, you have. Maybe you don’t love him as much as you thought.”

I glare at her. She never liked Jax or any of his friends, but she knew how much he meant to me. Still does. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I need to put work in to get him to come back to me. It could happen. Yeah, it could happen.

Chapter Nine

Allie

No matter how many layers of clothes I put on, I can't stop feeling cold. After dinner, after Jax and I had our little blow up, I took a bath because of it. I didn't know I liked them until I climbed into it, and I never wanted to get out. At least, until the water got cold.

We decided that unless it was necessary, Jax wouldn't give me memories until I asked for them. In this case, I didn't think it would be too much pressure, so he told me I'd sit in baths for hours if he'd let me. Reading books or playing on my phone. When the water got cold, I would drain it and refill it. If I had a particularly bad day, or I had just spent time with my mother, I'd fill it with bubbles and drink wine.

After meeting my mother, I don't find that last part of the story unbelievable at all. The moment I saw her, my body tensed, and I didn't have an overwhelming urge to jump into her arms and hug her when I found out who she was like I did my father. And since the doctor told me to trust my instincts, they tell me that my mom and I do not get along. Not like she wanted to make it seem when she actedso dramatically.

I look in the mirror at the flannel pajamas Jax gave me before I got into the tub. My reflection looks like a child playing dress up. They're about two sizes too big, but they're warm, and for that I’m thankful.

I step into the master bedroom to find Jax wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a white tank top. Even though I don't remember him or being in love with him, my body reacts to him as though we've been together for years. I'm not used to feeling desire, but something deep in my core pulls at him. It doesn't hurt that he's hot, both fully clothed as well as showing off his toned body in a tight shirt like he is now.

"You're sure you don't want to sleep in here? I can take the extra bedroom," Jax says, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm sure. It feels weird to kick you out of the bed you've slept in for far longer than I have," I say and follow him down the hall.

He walks in and turns the lamp beside the bed on. "Here it is."

I step inside and notice how cute the room is. I take in the shades of gray and green, and something tells me the decor was a compromise of what Jax and I wanted. He doesn't strike me as the type of person who enjoys decorating, but he also doesn't seem overly girly. It's a nice room.

"Goodnight, Allie," he says as he lingers in the doorway. "Do you need anything?"

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