Page 16 of Please Remember

"It's a recipe you found online," I say, taking a bite of the rich cheese sauce covered noodles.

I used to get so sick of this when she'd make it, groaning when I'd see her pull out the evaporated milk and shredded cheese. But as soon as she was gone, it became the only thing I wanted to eat. It would be the only meal I’d eat for days sometimes.

Using her trick to try and make it more appetizing for me, I added sausage. Not only does it make it a little less rich but it also adds protein. And she could really use the nutrients. The number of deficiencies she has worries me a bit.

"It's good," Allie says.

For some reason, the moment Sage left, Allie seemed distant. I've told her three stories so far, all relating to food, only to bemet with a polite smile in response. Part of me wonders if I tell her the right story that it might jog her memory. Be the trigger she needs. Nothing works, though.

"Can I ask why there's a bunch of frog figurines all over the house? Do we have a frog farm or something?" she asks as I take the plates.

I smile and turn to look at her as I set the plates down and lean against the sink. "It's a running joke with our friends. Whenever they come across something frog related, they buy it for you. And you proudly display them around the house."

"Why? The frogs, not why I displayed them."

"We stayed at the lake with everyone—Sage, Benji, Drew, Seth, and Laura—and you found these traps set up for frogs and toads. When you found out it was the cranky old man in the cabin next to us, and he planned to use the frogs for fishing for bass, you lost it."

Her eyebrows lift. "Your fiancée was with us?"

"She wasn't my fiancée then. She was just a friend."

"What do you mean I lost it?" she asks, shifting topics.

It makes me a little uncomfortable that she doesn't seem fazed in the least about Laura and I being engaged. "You got so angry that you went and freed all the frogs. All we saw in the tall grass leading down to the lake was hopping green things. The guy came out, pissed as hell, but you stood your ground. You put him in his place."

"Because he captured the frogs?"

"Yes," I say and laugh. "You told him how terrible it was to trap those defenseless creatures just to go fishing. Oh man, you laid into him. He looked ready to cry by the time you were done with him. God, the look on his face when you hugged him and told him to do better... Man, it was amazing. What did he say to you when you did that? I can't remember."

Her blue eyes stare blankly at me, and I realize what I just said. "You were the one telling the story, Jax."

"I'm sorry, I was kind of talking more to myself than you with that question. We shared so many great memories that sometimes they blur together," I say and walk to the fridge to pull out a chocolate creme pie. "I saw this in the store, and I had to pick up your favorite dessert."

"Dessert?"

"You love chocolate, even though you'd tell me to limit how much you ate. It's a celebration," I say, trying to gloss over my slip up. "I wasn't sure if I'd have you back here with me, Allie, and you are. I mean, it's a miracle—"

I stop talking when she stands up and turns her back to me, her shoulders lifting as she takes deep breaths.

"Allie?"

"I understand you know me, Jax," she says, turning to face me. "Theoldme. The person I was before. But I don't know her. I don't share her memories, and I'm not the other half of the couple you want me to be but keep forgetting I'm not. I don't remember you."

The words hurt. I know she's not trying to be mean, but it doesn't make them sting any less. "I know."

"I don't think you do. I get that you're trying to help me remember, and I appreciate it, but it feels like you're trying to overload me with information andmakeme remember. There's so much pressure to be her, and I'm not. I'm not her, Jax. I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm not the Allie you want."

Setting the pie on the table, I hold my hands up in surrender. "I'm not trying to force you into anything you don't want, Allie, I swear."

"I don't want to hurt you, but I'm not in love with you. I know you're in love with me, but I don't know you. Those pictures, they tell a story oflove and companionship.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “That version of me looks like she loves you. She does. But I'm not her, and I can't help but think that maybe this was a mistake."

My heart races as I stare at her. "What was a mistake?"

"Coming here. You want the woman you lost, and I want to figure out who I am. It's really hard to do that when it feels like I'm being shoved into a box that feels too small. You keep forgetting that I’m not the person you knew. Not yet, and it’s overwhelming."

Taking her hand on instinct, I stare into her eyes for a few moments as I try to figure out how to explain it's not a mistake. That nothing about us is a mistake. "I don't want you to leave."

She breaks eye contact and stares down at our joined hands, but she doesn't pull away. "Jax—"

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