Page 12 of Please Remember

Benji crouches down next to her and wraps an arm around her. "Sage, you good, babe?"

"I just... I've been so scared for seven years. And she's... she's here now."

"You should go see her," Jax says. "Tell her who you are, and she'll know. She looked at me like she knew me even though she doesn't remember me. I know she's still in there. I can feel it."

"Are you sure?"

Sage stands, and Jax pulls her into a warm hug. I've suspected for years that Sage and Jax found comfort in each other, but I've had no proof. This, though, is an intimate gesture between people who have come together naked. God, I hate Sage. I've always hated Sage.

"I'm positive. I'll join you in a bit," he says. "You should have some time with her."

We all watch Sage leave, Benji and Drew appreciating her large ass more than others, and I feel like an outsider. Natalie's hand on my shoulder is the only reminder I'm even here because no one notices me. Not until Jax finally holds my gaze.

"Laura, we need to talk," he says and nods towards the hallway.

Taking a deep breath, I force what I hope is a supportive smile on my face, and I follow after him. At least he's doing this out of earshot of everyone else. But maybe, just maybe, he's not going to end things. Maybe seeing her feels like a relief, but he realizes he doesn't have the same feelings he used to have. The ones that kept me at a distance for all those years. Is it too much to hope that something positive for me could come from this?

"Look, I'm sorry about the party."

I shake my head and reach out to touch his arm. "It's okay. This is a big deal, and I'm glad Allie's okay. We'll figure it out. We can reschedule for another time when things get settled," I say. The look on his face tells me that's not an option, and I find myself backtracking. "Or we can just cancel. It's not like an engagement party is even really that important."

He steps out of my reach and runs his hand through his hair. A surefire sign he's about to tell me something I don't want to hear. "Allie being back changes things, Laura. You have to know that, right?"

"I know. She's... It's good that she's back, and she's safe. She's important to both of us."

"You're not picking up what I'm putting down," he says with a sigh, using an inside joke we used to have.

As much as I want to avoid this, I know I can't. And the look on his face tells me there's very little chance of changing his mind right now. "Oh. You want to cancel the wedding and not get married anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"But... we planned everything. I have the date and the dress. The programs will be here this week, and invitations are ready to be mailed. The Save the Dates were already sent out. We've told everyone we're getting married."

His tongue slips out over his bottom lip, and he can't meet my eyes. "I tried to move on. Everyone said I had to. They told me it was what Allie would want, and I thought I could push myself to do that if I just kept going."

"Jax, you proposed."

"I handed you a box and said we should get married because you kept bringing it up," he says.

I step back and stare at him. "You gave me a ring. You thought enough about wanting to marry me to give me a ring, Jax."

"I kind of hoped you'd be upset with how ordinary the transaction was and would say no. That you'd be the one to end what we had because you deserve more, Laura. I can't give you what you deserve because I love Allie. I have always loved her, and I always will."

"You didn't have the balls to break up with me, so you half-assed a proposal hoping it would disappoint me enough to do it for you?"

This whole situation feels crazy. And stupid. This has to be a dream. No, a nightmare.

"Yes."

"No, you're just... you're trying to justify ending it with me right now by taking away from what we had. You feel like you betrayed Allie by falling in love with me, so you want to push me away."

"I don't love you," Jax says, his eyes finally meeting mine. "I wanted to. I tried to. In a way, I thought that maybe I could make myself fall in love if I said it enough, but I didn't."

"You're just saying that to make this easier for you, but I know it's not true. I know you love me," I say, doing my best to hold back my tears.

Looking up at the ceiling, he sighs. "I wasn't held up at work earlier. I didn't want to go to this party. To see everyone there, faking their smiles and happiness for us. You're the only one who didn't pick up onthe fact that I don't want this, Laura. I don't mean to be so blunt, but you're refusing to hear me. You're a good friend, and you helped me through so much, which is why I don't want to hurt you. But you're not really giving me an option to let you down gently."

"Friend. Right," I say. "You know, I think you have some big priorities to deal with right now, and you should get back to them."

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