Page 8 of Service Included

Remind me why we’re not doing online dating?

She’d reached the last section of steel shelves. The top rack had a single green plastic tub labeled “Costumes, 1995-2005,” which would be fun to sort with Callie.

Aleesha

Remember the guy who mooed when you put cream in your coffee?

World’s worst meet-up with a vegan.

Aleesha

And this one: [puppy emoji, kissy face]

HIM! I had wiped that from my memory. [barfing emoji]

After an okay-enough dinner—she would probably have gone to another one—the dude had put his whole mouth over her nose and licked her nostrils, then laughed and called it a puppy kiss. A puppy kiss.

Thanks. I’m back on track. No online dating.

Aleesha

The tattooed armpits demonstration while we drank coffee?

Your date, not mine.

Aleesha

I know, just putting it there in case you need more fortitude.

I really need to do these boxes.

Aleesha

I hope that’s a euphemism for messing with the mover? He's not an online date.

Aleesha

He comes pre-approved.

I see what you did there.

Aleesha

Hey sexy mama! Keep me updated. I love cheap thrills!

Aleesha

It’s Saturday and it won’t be long (I mean I hope it is LONG) but you don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight because YOUR MOTHER is number one.

[stop sign emoji]

Aleesha

Bitch, please. We don't want you to be stingy with your love.

Stop with the lyrics. I’m begging you. Stop.

Aleesha

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