Page 23 of Rex

“Oh my God, Aria! We’re planning on going to Charlie’s this Friday!” Lisa exclaims while turning shocked eyes in my direction.

“Planned, as in past tense. You won’t be going there or any other club without a member or Candy with you,” Rex insists, and I can feel his eyes on me. “Agreed?”

Without looking at him, I nod as does Lisa. We pause the discussion until the waitress leaves with our order. Glancing around to be sure no one is close enough to overhear us, Lisa turns to me and simply raises both eyebrows. I know exactly what she’s trying to say, but I’m not convinced we were drugged yet. I’m not letting Rex off the hook until I am. I give a small shake of my head and see she gets what I’m trying to convey.

“Okay, guys. Tell us all the reasons why you believe this happened,” Lisa demands, and I sit back and listen to their side of things.

When they finish, and our food is sitting in front of us, I pick at my pizza and think over everything we’ve just been told. Ignoring Rex and my own embarrassment, I ask my question.

“Why do I have most of my memory and you three don’t? We drank the same things.”

“You didn’t drink all of the last shot. You took a small sip and then pushed it away. Reeves finished it off,” Rex says. “We left immediately after that. That’s why we think that’s the shot that had the drugs.”

That actually makes sense but doesn’t make me feel any better. If all they’ve said is true and we did get roofied, then I took advantage of Rex and the condition he was in. Holy shit balls, I’m basically a rapist!

“How did I not know you were drugged?” I ask while feeling the heat climb up my face.

“I think you consumed just enough of the drug to not be completely yourself either. Not counting all the alcohol prior to that last shot,” Rex answers in a gentle voice. “And it depends on what drug they used. Some just lower a person’s inhibitions, while others just knock you out completely. Some increase your sexual drive and—” I interrupt Rex’s explanation at that point by smacking my hand hard against the tabletop.

“Okay, enough. I get it. I have to go now,” I say in a nearly hysterical tone while rushing to stand.

Rex stands just as quickly and places his hand on my forearm. Not holding me or trying to control my movements, though. Just a warm, reassuring hand of someone trying to be supportive.

“Aria, please sit. If you’re blaming yourself, you—” Rex starts, but I rudely interrupt.

“Of course, I’m blaming myself,” I say in a quiet but shaky tone. “You were most likely drugged, and I wasn’t. Or at least not as much, and I should have paid closer attention. Les has lectured me for years about staying aware of my surroundings when I’m out, and I didn’t. I dropped my guard, and Lisa, Reeves, and I simply got lucky things didn’t end worse for us. You, though? You didn’t get lucky. You got taken advantage of. All I can do is apologize and hope you three can forgive me someday.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Aria. We all failed that night,” Reeves states as he too stands. “Rex and I failed you and Lisa. Nobody is going to blame you, honey.”

“I do, Reeves. I’m a fucking doctor and yet didn’t see the signs. I’m so sorry,” I answer in a harsh whisper before pulling away from Rex and rushing out the door.

I hastily climb into my car and jump a little when the passenger door opens and Lisa slides in. Not saying another word, I start my car and slowly, carefully drive home.

I beg off on going out with Lisa and spend a quiet weekend at home. Other than my mom and brothers, I send all other calls to voicemail. When my mom asks if I’m going to the clubhouse for brunch on Sunday, I outright lie for one of the few times to my mother.

“No, sorry, Mom, I have other plans.”

“Aria, we go because the food is great, but mostly to show your brother and his club that we support him and his choices,” Mom reminds me in her gentle voice.

“I know this, Mom, but I have a new business partner, and I need to make sure that relationship is strong, too. We’re meeting about work stuff.”

“On a Sunday?”

“The office is closed, obviously, so Sunday is the best day for us to go over employee things,” I state with a confidence I don’t feel. I’m not good at this lying thing, and especially to her. Guilt is already settling hard in my gut.

“Okay, honey. I’ll see you for lunch on Monday, then?” Mom concedes then asks.

“Yeah, for sure. Talk later, Mom. Love you,” I answer then hang up quickly.

Taking a deep breath, I lean my head back and stare up at my ceiling. Guilt has become my constant companion lately. Guilt over Rex, Reeves, and Lisa. Guilt over lying to my mother and brothers. Guilt over avoiding the few people I know in this town. Looking back down, I stare at my hands and realize they’re shaking slightly. I have to find a way to get past the guilt.

I had spent Friday night not out dancing with Lisa but researching date rape drugs and their effects, signs, and symptoms. Feeling a little better prepared if it ever happens again, I went to bed in the wee hours of the morning.

Saturday, I spent the day obsessively cleaning my home. Everything got scrubbed, and clutter got put away. After a long,relaxing bath, I made a nice meal for myself and spent half an hour pushing the food around on my plate. I haven’t been eating or sleeping well this week, and tonight’s no exception. I place my plate of food in the fridge next to other plates of uneaten dinners. I stand, thinking for just a moment before opening my junk drawer and grabbing a roll of duct tape.

I make my way throughout my home, placing small pieces of tape over all the security camera lenses. I think I could unplug them, but I’m worried that might trigger an alarm at the security office, so this was my only other way of knowing I can’t be seen. I also know this is probably a little irrational on my part, but I need to feel like my home is my sanctuary. I need to be able to be mad or sad, rage or cry, if needed, without an audience.

Feeling better, I lay sprawled on my couch and try to blank my mind. After twenty minutes of trying, and failing, I move to my table and open my laptop. Opening up the webpage I need, I spend the evening studying how to do an old procedure with a new method. Yeah, I’ve become that boring of a person, and I promise myself that on Sunday, I will come up with a better plan for my life than hiding and avoiding people I’ve come to care about.

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