Page 95 of Chubs

I leave them planning their next adventure and walk to the kitchen. Stepping inside, I find Ava, Tammy, Taja, and Tessie placing food into large serving bowls, and I start helping them. Mac is sitting on a perch in the corner, facing the wall. I ignore the stream of swear words he’s muttering as I stir the large bowl of fruit salad.

“You doing okay?” Ava asks from beside me.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I wish I knew what the club was going to do with him. Gunner hasn’t given me even a hint, and I’ve tried everything I know to get him to talk,” she admits with a small laugh.

The kitchen door swings open, and Craig strolls in with a large handful of bills in his hand. Taking a seat off to the side, he continues counting the money before he stands and walks into the pantry. A moment later, he returns empty-handed and with a satisfied smile on his face. Looking around, he sees several of us staring at him, curious.

“All I’m saying is that the club drama is nowhere near over for the day. Prepare yourselves, ladies. Shit’s about to get real,” he warns, then walks out laughing.

“What else could happen today?” Tessie asks in confusion and instantly jinxes the whole damn place.

I pick up the large bowl filled with fruit and this awesome lemon dressing Ava makes and walk for the swinging door. I freeze in place when there’s a terrified scream and running footsteps from the main room, and I shouldn’t have. The door flies open, slamming into the bowl and me, knocking me flat on my ass. Fruit and dressing cover me and all the nearby areas of the kitchen as Reeves first slips, then falls on top of me.

Scrambling to his feet, stomping on me in the process, he again attempts to run and wipes out a second time. This time it’s Tessie’s turn to be taken down by him, and she screams until the impact with the floor shocks her into silence. Still not giving up, Reeves makes it to his feet, and all I see is his jean-covered ass busting through the screen door and running across the backyard. He’ll be repairing that door tomorrow since he didn’t take the time to open it first.

“What the hell?” Tammy shouts while rushing to help me to my feet.

She gets me upright when the door crashes open again, and James attempts to vault over us and instead takes all three of us back to the floor. We’re sliding around the tile flooring in fruit and lemon-scented dressing and still have no idea why. Using my head this time, I crawl instead of trying to stand. I pull Tammy with me, and we cower behind a worktable while James thrashes around until he gets to the back door and crawls through it.

Every one of us in the kitchen stays in place, including Tessie, who’s on her hands and knees, and now howling in anger. The sounds coming from the main room alert us to the fact that things have not settled yet. Shouts, curses, and threats of imminent death fill the air as we look at each other in confusion.

The swinging door suddenly flies open, and this time it’s Pigeon who’s on the run. His long strides hit the wet floor, and he literally slides through the kitchen, arms flailing before he collides with the worktable Ava’s standing behind. The impact sends him airborne and over the table in a tangle of arms and legs. Every bowl and plate on the table goes sailing as Pigeon’s progress is slowed when Ava’s too slow to get out of the way. The two of them disappear behind the table, and grunts of pain can be heard by all. Daring to peek my head around my hiding spot enough to check on Ava’s well-being, I meet eyes with Pigeon, who appears to be using Ava as a shield of sorts.

“Ha! It’s about fucking time the bullshit evil stuff you always cause bit you in your own damn ass!” shouts Toes from the doorway while pointing at me.

“Shut your face, Toes!” Taja orders while advancing on him.

Toes is pushed out of the doorway, and a new face appears, bringing Taja to an abrupt halt. I have no idea who the hell it is because his face is painted up as a scary-ass clown, orange wig and all. Around his neck is, I’m hoping, a very realistic fake six-foot-long snake. Pigeon squeaks in alarm, tosses Ava in one direction, and makes a move for the door. Clown man does a flying tackle, taking Pigeon painfully back to the floor.

We all watch in shocked surprise as the clown grinds himself all over Pigeon’s squirming body and then lays a loud, wet, smacking kiss on his face. Pushing himself off, the clown stands and starts laughing uncontrollably. While Pigeon lies stunned, the clown performs a victory dance over his prone body. Hips gyrating, snake held over his head, the clown displays some impressive moves.

When the dance ends with the clown grabbing his groin, Pigeon simply buries his face in his arms and lays still. Whatever this was about, the clown just won, and Pigeon has surrendered. Looking toward the back door, I see no sign of James and Reeves and briefly wonder if they’re still running to parts unknown.

The swinging door opens again, and several people push inside and stand, open-mouthed at the destruction. The clown is still standing over Pigeon, gloating, when Ava explodes.

“I am done! I’m so fucking done! Eat your food from the floor for all I care! I’m fucking done with the lot of you!”

With that, she picks up the baby carrier with Chasin, miraculously still sleeping, and storms through the broken back door, giving it a kick on her way. No one says a word, and no one is dumb enough to tell her she’s covered head to toe in the remains of the food she’d worked so hard to prepare.

The clown is looking around the room, probably just now noticing the destruction he was a part of, and groans loudly. Shoulders slumping, victory dance a thing of the past, he sticks a hand down to Pigeon to help him to his feet. Pigeon emits a squeal, reminiscent of a three-year-old girl seeing her first spider, and uses his feet to push his way to the back door. Standing slowly, he adjusts his food-covered clothing, then steps through the door with the most dignity I’ve ever seen him have. As casual as if nothing had just happened, he strolls across the backyard and disappears down the street.

“Looks like Rex, our very own version of John Wayne Gacy, has one hell of a mess to clean up and a fuck ton of explaining to do,” Lola calmly states.

Glancing at the clown, it finally dawns on me that it is Rex and why he’s swinging a snake while wearing a clown outfit. Revenge, pure and simple. Craig and Rex must have come to an agreement, and Craig got his payday. When I hear an evil giggle, I turn my head to see Craig standing in the middle of the mess. He holds his fist up to Rex, waiting for a fist bump, but Rex is too busy taking in the state of the kitchen and our meal.

“Who knew James was scared of snakes, too? I’m not going to charge you for him, though, Rex. You got a threefer for the price of a twofer. Well done, buddy,” Craig praises.

“I’m going to take the rest of my kids home and see if I can work a life-saving miracle on my wife’s temper. If not, it’s been nice knowing you, Rex. I’m sure she won’t forget the part the others played in this bullshit either. In the meantime, clean this up, and put this clubhouse back in the condition it was in before you fucktards destroyed it. Church is canceled. We’ll meet in one week,” Gunner orders in a calm, controlled voice, then walks away.

“Toes, I’ve warned you before, and you know what the consequences are. After Church, you and I, in the ring,” Axel states before slipping and sliding his way to where Tammy and I are still sitting.

Reaching down, Axel carefully gets Tammy on her feet and hands her over to Trigger, who’s battling his laughter but not completely winning.

“Not one word, Trigger, or you’ll be looking for a new bed to sleep in,” Tammy warns as Trigger picks a few strawberries and a blueberry from her hair.

Axel then reaches down and lifts me to my feet. Holding my arm, he helps me exit the kitchen and hands me over to Lisa and Bailey. Lisa makes zero attempt at curbing her laughter, but I choose to ignore it. Bailey covers her mouth, and for a moment, I think she’s trying not to laugh before she takes off at a run for the nearest bathroom, horrible retching sounds emitting from her. Axel takes off behind her, and I get my first look at the main room.

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