Candy is asked to run some supplies to the ranch, so I ignore Gunner’s rule about having someone with me and drive to the security shop. I’ve been meaning to chat with Rex about installing a better security system at Lisa’s condo, and now’s as good of time as any.
Walking in, I find Rex sound asleep at his desk. The office is trashed with energy drink cans, fast food wrappers, and bags tossed everywhere. I wrinkle my nose in disgust but then feel a pang of guilt, knowing why he’s let it get to this condition. I locate a garbage bag and start filling it. Reeves sticks his head into the office and laughs loudly, startling Rex into an upright position. Reeves flips him off and walks away.
“What are you doing?” Rex asks with a wide yawn.
I look closely at him, and it’s plain to see he’s running on empty. His hair is disheveled, clothing wrinkled, and he’s lost weight. A surge of anger rises, and I don’t try to stop it. I let it spew.
“Why are you working so hard to find someone who doesn’t want to be found? He left the club without an explanation, without notice, and yet you’re looking for him non-stop! You’re tearing yourself apart, working like a dog, and for what? A man who doesn’t care enough to at least check in and let you know he’s alive? Let it go, Rex! Let him go! He doesn’t deserve your loyalty when he gave us none back! Just stop! He wants to be gone, so let him be!”
Rex listens to my rant then slowly nods his head.
“Ask yourself that same question, Lucy. Why are you giving him loyalty when he didn’t give you any?”
“What? I’m not,” I say, taken aback by his comment.
“You know more than you’ve said because of your own sense of loyalty to him. I’ll let it go when you do the same,” Rex offers in a quiet tone.
I hesitate for a moment before taking a seat across the desk from Rex.
“I don’t know how,” I admit softly.
“Me neither. I have this gut feeling that he’s in over his head into something dangerous, and I can’t make myself stop trying to find a way to help or intervene. I know Chubs. He would never have done what he did unless he felt he had no other choice. He would die alone in the street before he’d willingly put you or a club member at risk. I can’t sit back, doing nothing, and worrying about loyalty, and let that happen. I can’t, Lucy. If you love him like I know you do, then help me stop that from happening. Please, don’t let him die alone because he loves you enough to protect you.”
My shoulders slump, and the rage leaves my body. Instead, I’m filled with the knowledge that Rex is right. Chubs is going it alone, possibly going to die, all because he loves too hard. He’s too protective, and that’ll be his downfall.
“My laptop has info that can help you find him,” I mutter, but I’m surprised at the weight that’s lifted off my shoulders immediately.
I no longer have to lie to the people I love, and I can share my worries with them. The club will help carry that load with me, and the relief coursing through my body tells me I’m making the best choice. I also know it will end any possibility of Chubs forgiving me if they can bring him home safely. He’ll see it as a betrayal, but I’m not sure I care about that anymore. I’d rather live a life alone, without him, than carry the burden of knowing he died when I could have helped in some way.
“He’s going to hate me.”
“But he’ll be alive to do it,” Rex answers softly before following me to Lisa’s condo.
“I’m glad you told them about Chubs,” Craig says as he slides onto the stool next to me.
“You are? I thought you might be mad about it,” I answer in a weary voice.
“No, not mad. I should have told them in the beginning but didn’t because he made me promise not to,” Craig states. “I didn’t want to break my promise, but it’s the kind of promise that I should have broken anyway. I overheard some things and asked Chubs about them. Everyone forgets that my superpower is my hearing. You’d think by now you adults would remember that.”
Having overheard this, Tammy shouts, “Why didn’t you tell one of us?”
“Nobody asked,” Craig answers and laughs when Tammy throws up her hands and storms off.
“What else have you overheard that you shouldn’t have?” I ask.
“Well, lots of good stuff that I can use for leverage someday. I can’t give up all my secrets, but I’ll tell you this one. You know how Rex wants to get even with Pigeon and Reeves for tasing his boy parts? I know how he can do it. I’ve been wanting to tell him, but I haven’t come up with a price for that info yet,” Craig informs me with a wide, toothless grin.
“If your info is good enough, I think Rex would pay a lot for it,” I add conspiratorially.
“Reeves is absolutely terrified of snakes, and Pigeon loses his shit over clowns. Yeah, you heard that right—clowns. What a wuss,” Craig says in disgust before swigging back a huge amount of his root beer. “What should I charge him for that? It’s good stuff and should bring in a premium price.”
I have no idea what fears of snakes and clowns are worth, but I’m positive Craig and Rex will agree on something.
“If I’m not here when Rex gets his revenge, please, please, get a video for me!” I beg, and Craig nods in agreement.
The men walk out of the room they use for Church meetings, and I watch in trepidation as Gunner stops in front of me on the other side of the bar. He stares long and hard at me before dropping his head to view the floor.
“I get it, Lucy. I do, but I’m glad as fuck you finally told someone what you knew. Rex is already working on filling in the blanks, and the rest of us are going home to pack. I’d like you to stay on club property while we’re gone, though. Or at least stick close to Axel or Candy.”