Page 7 of Chubs

“Hello, my beautiful girl! I’ve missed you!” I say to her sweet face.

“Missed you too!”

“Where’s Mommy?” I ask.

“Mommy’s in the cwoset. Cwalset. Where the clothes are. She’s saying swears a lot,” she answers in a whisper like she’s telling me a secret.

“Okay then. Umm, why is she swearing? Is she locked in there?” I ask as I set Alex on her feet and start toward the bedroom, somewhat alarmed.

“Cuz Daddy’s a pig,” Alex responds in a serious tone.

“Hey, Lucy. And yes, it’s because Alex’s daddy is a pig. Oink oink,” Bailey states, flashing Alex a wink and a smile as she enters the room. “That man has never figured out what the purpose of a hanger is, and I’m tired of picking his clothes up off the floor. So yeah, not a proud Mom moment, but I may have sworn a little as I again cleared the closet floor.”

“A lot. Not a little,” Alex corrects while climbing onto a chair to peek into the take-out bags.

Bailey cringes a little as I laugh at the honesty of children.

I take a seat next to Alex and help her pull out the food containers while Bailey grabs drinks. Once we’re all eating, Bailey speaks.

“Chubs is pushing buttons on a lot of the guys. Ava too. I know it doesn’t help, but you’re not the only one he’s hiding things from. I can’t imagine your frustration over it, though. I told Axel if he ever did that to me, I’d whack him where it hurts the worst.”

“Whack what?” Alex asks innocently as Bailey and I grin at each other.

“Whack him upside his head,” Bailey answers.

“And I’m guessing he covered his junk when you said that,” I state with no doubt in my mind.

“Yep. I’m always telling the guys that he’s smarter than he acts,” Bailey replies with a laugh.

“When are the ladies coming over?” I question while deliberately changing the subject.

Bailey gives me a knowing look, but like the great friend she is, she gives me that play.

“They should start arriving soon. With the men all tied up with club business, tonight’s a great night to work on Pippa’s wedding plans.”

No sooner were the words spoken, and the front door opens with a whoosh. Craig comes through the door first, then steps aside to hold it open for the women and other kids. After everyone enters the house, Craig shuts the door with some force and shouts in an irritated voice, “You’re welcome!” before stomping to the couch and throwing himself down on it.

I notice my eyebrows aren’t the only ones raised in surprise at Craig’s show of attitude. I bite my lip when I see Tammy turn toward him and place her hands on her hips. Seeing the same as I did, Craig stands back up and mimics Tammy’s stance. Shit’s about to go down.

“Would you care to explain your attitude, young man?” Tammy asks in a deadly quiet voice.

“Again?” Craig tosses back with sarcasm tinging his voice.

“Your mom and I have already explained, several times, why Axel is going to be the best man. It’s not your decision to make, even if you don’t agree with it. So now, can you say hi to everyone and then go play with the kids so we can get to work?”

While Tammy’s speaking and fighting for patience, Craig’s signing the words automatically for Luke’s benefit. I’ve noticed Craig always does that if Luke’s in the room, and it’s amazing that he never forgets his best friend’s hearing challenge. Though in true Craig style, I’m positive I see him adding a few gestures that have nothing to do with Tammy’s words but everything to do with what Craig thinks of them. I duck my head to hide my smile at his audacity but nearly laugh out loud at Ava’s expression. She obviously caught those same gestures too.

“Hi, everyone. I’m going to go play with the kids now so you adults can continue planning the wedding that I’m not a part of. Have fun with that,” Craig barks then turns and leaves the room with the other kids following him.

After a few beats of silence, Pippa says, “Should I be afraid to sleep with both eyes closed tonight?”

“You should be fine, but I’d hide all the sharp objects just to be sure,” Trudy states in a subdued voice.

“Is he really not in the wedding at all?” I ask Pippa with a frown.

“He shot down the idea of ring bearer and usher. When Pooh jokingly said he could be a flower girl, I thought there was going to be bloodshed. He wants to be the best man or nothing. Said that if he’s not the best man, then he’s not even going to attend,” Pippa explains with a sigh. “Craig also thinks Bart should be a part of the ceremony too. He keeps insisting that Bart is family and, therefore, should be included. As odd as this may seem, as a little girl I never dreamed of my wedding including a skunk. Not one damn time.”

I laugh at Pippa’s comment, but I’m not sure any female in the room dreamed of a wedding including a skunk. Only Craig would see that as a normal idea.

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