Page 39 of Chubs

Candy stands from the table, takes the pills from Petey, and approaches Horse. Wrapping her arm around his head, she pulls it backward until his face is out of the garbage can. Then, without warning, she shoves the tablets into his mouth and uses two fingers to push them down his throat. Removing her fingers, she holds his jaw shut while stroking his throat. There is no sound in the room, but stunned silence, before Horse shrieks like a banshee lit on fire.

“What the hell?” Petey gasps out before nearly falling off his stool laughing.

The room erupts in wild laughter except for Candy. She calmly washes her hands, then pulls her car keys from her pocket and turns to Horse.

“Let’s go, Princess,” she orders.

“Go? I’m not going anywhere with you! You just shoved your hand down my throat like I’m a damn dog! Not to be petty or anything, but you washed your hands AFTER instead of before! Just sayin’, I feel a little violated!” Horse shouts a little hysterically.

“Fair enough. And you’re welcome for me buying you a few extra minutes before your death, you ungrateful dick. But while you’re standing here being just that, your mouth is starting to look like a toilet plunger. Just sayin’,” Candy returns sarcastically before tucking her keys away and sitting back down in her chair.

If I’m reading the look she’s giving Horse correctly, he’s in danger of having a shrimp shoved somewhere he seriously does not want one.

At her comment, all eyes swing to Horse and his rapidly swelling face. Candy nailed the description of his mouth, though. I’m not sure I’ll ever look at him again without remembering this moment.

“I totally get the toilet plunger reference, but I’m getting more of a ‘Cherry, the Sex Doll’ vibe,” Rex states while waving a hand in front of Horse’s obscenely huge, red lips formed in an O shape.

Horse knocks Rex’s hand away and turns to Ava.

“Wis is yo fwalt!”

“No, dumbass, it’s yours. Do you want to stand around arguing that or head to the hospital before we have to find an urn for your ashes?” I ask as I stand.

“Stay and relax, Lucy. I’ll take him if you let me use your car. No fucking way am I letting him ride bitch on my bike looking like that. People might get the wrong idea,” Rex says while dragging Horse behind him. Grabbing my keys, I hold them out to Rex.

Seconds after the door closes behind them, Axel carrying Alex with Bailey following, enters. Bailey’s eyes are wide as she turns to me.

“What the hell happened to Horse? ThatwasHorse, right?”

“Shrimp allergy,” I answer with a grin.

“Is he going to live?” she asks.

“Yeah, because he’s too stupid to die,” Gunner replies, starting another round of laughter. “God looks out for those ones.”

“Okay, whatever. Horse is gone, and let’s leave him that way. Listen up! Alexia wants to tell everyone something. Go ahead, baby girl,” Axel says when everyone’s attention is on him and his daughter.

“Daddy is having a baby!” she crows, then throws her arms up in the air, nearly smacking Axel in the face.

“If any man could, it would be your daddy,” Gunner states dryly.

“Bailey’s pregnant?” Bella shouts, catching on the quickest.

“No! Daddy is!” Alex argues.

“We’re pregnant, and as much as Axel wishes it were different, I’m carrying the baby. We found out today,” Bailey says softly while smiling broadly at Axel.

Back slaps, hugs, and congratulations take place before things settle down a bit. When they do, I pull Alex out of Axel’s arms and give her a big hug.

“Are you excited to be a big sister?” I ask.

“Yep,” she says while nodding excitedly.

“You’ll be great at being a big sister,” Candy adds from beside us before turning to Axel. “What do you want? Boy or girl?”

“Girl, definitely,” he answers instantly.

Surprised at his answer, I ask, “What if it’s a boy?”

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