Page 26 of Chubs

“We don’t listen to rumors.”

Lisa snorts out a laugh before picking up her purse and coffee cup.

“Let’s get out of here before the building catches on fire.”

I wave to Bella and Luke as we drive past them and stop in front of Pooh’s house. Craig comes flying out the door before I even have the car in park. He climbs into the backseat after setting his backpack in first. Buckling up, he grins at me in the mirror. Pooh salutes us with a smile while standing on his sidewalk.

“Hi, Lisa! Hey, Lucy. It might be best if we leave using the back road. Tessie’s on her way to the clubhouse,” Craig advises.

I don’t hesitate to drive away from Pooh’s, taking the road toward the backside of the club property. Glancing in the mirror, I see Tessie’s Jeep sliding sideways onto the road, Pooh dropping his coffee cup and diving onto his deck before the Jeep drives in the opposite direction. I breathe a sigh of relief and give Craig a thumbs up.

“Hey, Craig. How’s it feel knowing you’re going to be dining with two gorgeous ladies today?” Lisa asks.

“Two’s always better than one,” he quips.

“After breakfast, what do you have planned for us?” I query.

“We’ll have to make a stop somewhere with some grass,” he answers, but it sounds like he’s distracted. Before I can look in the mirror to see why he continues speaking.

“I know you’ve been sad, so I brought Bart to cheer you up.”

Bart, his pet skunk, lands on the console between Lisa and me. Without hesitation, he crawls into Lisa’s lap.

“Isn’t Bart a sk…” Lisa starts to ask before realizing he’s sitting on her lap.

Screaming loudly, Lisa jerks away and throws her hands in the air, nearly unseating Bart. Freezing in that position, she becomes silent.

“You knew he had a pet skunk, Lisa,” I remind her, fighting laughter.

“Oh shit! Yes, I did, but I didn’t know it was going to be sitting on me! Scared the crap out of me,” Lisa exclaims before slowly relaxing.

Bart rolls to his back and stares up at Lisa. She reaches out a finger and runs it over the pad of his foot before smiling. Within a minute, she’s petting him, and he’s nearly purring in pleasure.

“I’m sorry, Lisa. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Craig says sincerely.

“It’s okay, Craig. He just startled me. It’s not every day a person has a skunk appearing in their lap, you know,” Lisa returns before cuddling Bart closer to her. “Wow. He doesn’t smell at all.”

“Of course not. Pippa makes him take baths too,” Craig says with no small amount of disgust in his voice.

“Lucy, my favorite sister. We have to do a thing,” Lisa states, and I notice the mischievous smile on her face.

“No, we don’t, and I’m your only sister,” I answer, knowing that her smile means we’re going to get into some kind of trouble.

“Come on! It’ll be fun! Craig will get a kick out of it too! Please!”

And that’s how we ended up at the Colorado Governor’s Office with a skunk.

Craig is still laughing in the backseat when we drop him off at the clubhouse later that day. Lisa’s not faring much better. She’s quiet for a few minutes, then starts laughing hysterically again. Craig waves goodbye after he gives Lisa and me each a kiss on the cheek, and Lisa cuddles Bart one last time.

“Mom’s going to call us,” I say as I wave to Toes at the gate as we drive through.

“She can’t holler at us too much since it was Dad who turned Bart loose in the meeting room,” she answers between gasps.

“That’s true. We only scared Mrs. Godfrey, and nobody likes her anyway. Dad took it from there. Oh God, did you see how hard he was laughing when the entire room emptied out, nearly trampling each other? He’s way worse than we are.”

“His security staff! The big bald guy knocked down the smaller guy and stepped in the middle of his back running away! When the little guy stood up, he had a shoe print on his jacket! Oh damn, I literally piddled a little!” Lisa shouts before dissolving into laughter again.

“Please, tell me you’re sitting on something other than directly on my car seat!” I screech.

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