Page 17 of Chubs

“Honey, they’ll be worried to death. They won’t know if he left by choice or not,” Lisa says.

“He chose it that way, not me. Please don’t get involved either. He has his reasons, even if I don’t agree with how he’s doing things. That club loves him, and he decided to turn his back on them too.”

Lisa doesn’t respond, but she does lean her shoulder against mine in silent support. Before she even opens her mouth to speak, I somehow know what’s she’s about to ask.

“How much digging into his past have you done, little sister?”

“Enough to know he left by choice and that he left because it’s important to him. He’s not the kind of man to leave his club and me without it being gut-wrenching for him. I’m angry beyond words, actually, but a part of me understands why he chose this path. I’m angry, though, because he didn’t have to do this alone. I guess the anger comes from knowing he placed me so low on his priority list. As stupid as it sounds, I’m jealous of the fact that I wasn’t more important to him than why he left. Digging deep inside myself, I know that’s where the hurt is coming from, and it makes me hate that part of myself. He chose this, not me, but I’m left feeling like an ass for being selfish.”

“Lucy, my God, you have every right to be angry! You’ve given everything to that man, and he walked away from you. Be angry, be selfish. You’ve earned that right,” Lisa argues vehemently.

“He had solid reasons for why he did it, but I’m not sure I can forgive him. For now, I’m going to embrace the anger because it helps fight off the hurt. It gives me a cushion from all the other emotions I can’t handle right now,” I answer quietly.

“I’ll be angry with you then, and you take whatever time you need before tackling the other crap that goes along with his betrayal,” Lisa advises. “But please don’t let this make you self-destruct along the way.”

I hear and acknowledge her words, but they don’t soothe the thought that self-destructing may be my only way to avoid the crushing weight of pain coming my way.

I give my family members goodbye hugs and listen to their words of advice and encouragement before walking toward the huge, intimidating president of The Devil’s Angels MC. I force a small smile on my face as I note the deep concern in his eyes. I know he feels it’s his duty to break the bad news to me, and he’s going to try his best to soften the blow. While others stare at the man who towers over everyone with a sense of wild stamped on him, I only see a man who loves his family and friends deeply. Gunner carries the weight of responsibility on his broad shoulders well, but I know the situation with Chubs is a heavy load even for him. When I reach him, I’m suddenly engulfed in a bear-like hug before he releases me, grabs my suitcase, and leads me toward the exit.

He finally speaks once we’re seated in his huge truck and leaving the airport.

“Did you have a nice trip, Lucy?”

“Yes, it was nice to spend time with my parents and sister.”

“I’m glad to hear that, little one,” Gunner says quietly before pausing.

I know what he’s gearing up to say, but I stay quiet.

When he speaks again, his voice has deepened and gotten very serious.

“I need to talk with you about something, but before I do, I want to remind you how important you are to the club and everyone associated with it. Lucy, you are loved and respected by everyone. Every single one of us has not, nor ever will, forget what you did for Chubs, the club, the kids, and Bailey. No matter what happens in the future, you will always have the club at your back. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you, Gunner. What do you need to talk with me about?” I ask while bracing myself to hear the actual words.

Before answering me, Gunner pulls the truck into a gas station and parks off to the side. Turning to me, I watch him steel himself for what’s about to come.

“Chubs didn’t show up at Ivy’s when he was supposed to. He didn’t answer any calls or texts, so Rex tracked his bike and found it abandoned alongside a road several miles from town. We don’t even know why he was in that area. His phone was smashed, gun still in the saddlebags, and keys in the bike, but no sign of Chubs. We haven’t been able to find him anywhere,” Gunner explains while watching me closely.

“Was Rex able to get anything from his phone?” I ask carefully.

I need to know if they know about the text he sent me before he left town.

“The SIM card was broken, and nothing can be recovered from it. Rex can’t find anything of value from the phone. Did he text or call you? Do you know anything that can help us find him?”

I hesitate to answer because the last thing I want to do is to lie to a man who has treated me so well. To a man that loves his club brother and is worried about his safety. Chubs has put me in a very awkward situation, and my anger rages to the surface. This is just another black mark I’m adding to my list of things I’m pissed at Chubs for, but I fight for control as I answer.

“No, I don’t.”

“Anything would help, Lucy. It might seem small, but—” Gunner starts before I cut him off abruptly.

“Take me to the bakery, please.”

“I know you’re—”

“Now, Gunner. I need to be alone, okay?” I snap before slamming my teeth together and turning to face the side window.

“I’ll take you there, Lucy, but you’re not going to be alone for long. Bailey’s not going to let that happen. Take some time for yourself but know you’re not alone in this. Every one of us will help you in any way we can. We’re not giving up on finding him. We will find him. I’ll give you some space, but if you know anything that could help us with finding him, please, God, let one of us know.”

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