Page 1 of Chubs

Prologue

I’m living a lie. A big fat, huge lie that’s going to be the end of me. I don’t know how to fix everything for everyone that matters most to me in this world, but I know I must do what I can. Some will not understand, some will be grateful. Some will hate me until the day I leave this earth, I’m afraid, but I see no other way to keep them safe.

Who am I risking it all for? Lucy, my woman, who deserves all good and no bad in her life. Instead, she got me. She gets the very best of me, but she’s going to hate the other parts of the person I really am. The man who has lied to her face while promising her a life I’m not going to be around to live with her. The person whose life spiraled out of control several years ago when I trusted the wrong people. The person who has several names and yet goes by my favorite one, Chubs. The simple, happy-go-lucky biker with a heart of gold and an unexplainable food addiction. The club brother that everyone loves and respects. My brothers and sisters, who accepted me without question. They’ve trusted me with their lives, secrets, and even their kids. They gave me loyalty, brotherhood, and a home when I probably didn’t deserve any of it.

Gunner, Axel, Petey, Trigger, and the rest of The Devil’s Angels MC own a huge part of my heart, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep them safe and clear of the mess of my life. Knowing that I’m keeping things from them just about kills me, but it’s for the best. If I survive what must be done, I have no illusions as to how my club will react to the way I’m planning on handling things. I’ve kept my secrets to myself, but in doing so, I’ve broken the brotherhood code. I didn’t take my issues to the table or include the club in my decisions. That will not be forgiven, and I’ll most likely be seen as a deserter and no longer worthy of the patch. I’ll be treated as such, and even if I survive what’s coming next, I may not survive the club punishments. Does this matter to me? Absolutely, and I’ll lose a part of myself if I’m stripped of my patch, but I’ve made my decision. I’d rather have them all alive, living a good life and hating me, than dead. I can’t be the cause of Pippa losing Pooh or Ava raising her family alone. Trudy deserves to live her happily ever after with Petey. Axel needs Bailey to tame his craziness, and Alexia needs her daddy. I’m replaceable, but those people are not. It guts me, but I know that eventually, Lucy will move on and find her happiness with someone whose past hasn’t come calling.

Many may never understand why I didn’t choose these people over my blood family, but I understand completely. The club will be angry and hurt, but they’ll survive my treason. My blood family is in peril, partially because of me, and I can’t turn my back on that. For years, my being gone was the best for them, but things have taken an ugly turn, and I’m going home to do what needs to be done.

Chapter 1

Chubs

I’m racing down the highway on my CVO Tri Glide Harley trike and trying to enjoy one of the last rides she and I will have together. It’s a beautiful, dark red bike with subtle flames throughout the paint, and it’s been the best bike I’ve ever owned. I know it sounds strange that I’m going to miss my bike when I’m leaving so many things behind, but it’s become a part of me, and I hate knowing I’m abandoning her too. Shaking those thoughts off, I crank up the music and try to clear my mind. Not long after, I’m pulling into a used car lot. I made sure to pick one several towns over so I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. Shutting off my bike, I step off and approach the car that caught my eye last week when I was driving through this town on club business. It’s the most non-descript one on the lot and perfect for what I need. Walking around the car, I peek inside it and confirm my decision. Leaving my shades on, I pull on a ball cap and approach the office.

“Nice bike,” says the young salesman as I pull the door shut behind me.

“Thanks. How much for the silver Toyota?” I ask, not wasting time with niceties.

“$4,900.00,” the salesman answers immediately.

I’m guessing he’s figured out that I’m not here to chat but want to get shit done fast.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll have to think about it,” I say before turning abruptly and leaving the office without another word.

I knew before I even entered the building that I was going to get this car, but I’m not the one who’s going to do the actual buying. I have a few friends that are willing to help, so they’ll be here within a few days to buy it with the cash I’ll be giving them. One more thing completed, and now it’s time to get some others done too.

Pulling out of the lot, I pull my phone from my pocket and make the call. After I disconnect, I pocket my phone and hit the throttle.

“You working at New Horizons today?” I ask Lucy as she brushes her hair while standing in the bedroom doorway.

“Yeah. I’m helping Pippa apply for more government grants.”

“Not sure when I’ll be done today. Are we spending the night here or at the clubhouse?” I question while sipping my coffee.

“Here, I think. You like the smells we wake up to, with the bakery being below the apartment. Besides, I need to start going through my clothes tonight too. Not sure what all I’m taking on the trip, but I may need to pick up a few things before I leave,” Lucy answers as she takes a seat next to me on the couch.

“Works for me,” I mutter as she steals my cup for a sip. The coffee I’ll share, but if she makes a move toward my donut, it’s game on.

“I’m happy that I get to spend time with my family, but I hate leaving you,” Lucy murmurs as she hands the cup back to me.

“Me too, Lucy, my love. Enjoy the time with them, though. When you get back, I want to show you the piece of land I’m buying from Vex for us to build our home on. It sits against a section of the club property. No houses in sight but only a few minutes’ drive to the clubhouse. Vex’s house is in the other direction but still a short drive. We’ll be isolated and yet close.”

“Love that idea, Chubs. How soon before we can start building?”

“I’m hoping before fall. I’d like to get the driveway built, well drilled, and maybe get the garage done. I took the house plans to Gunner’s contractor, and he said they could probably get a good start on things before snow hits.”

“That would be great!” Lucy responds enthusiastically.

“We better get going. I have Church later and have some things to do first,” I say as we stand, drop my cup off in the sink, and leave the apartment.

Giving Lucy a long, hard kiss goodbye, I watch silently from the back door of the bakery as she walks to her car. I watch as she waves at me before maneuvering her car out of the parking lot and to the street. I continue watching her car as she drives away down the street, and my heart hurts. I hate myself for giving her hope of us building a home, a life together, when I know the odds are slim of that happening, but I have to keep her from getting suspicious.

I’ve kept so many things from her, the woman I love more than life, and the guilt is crushing. Some days the weight of it is just too much to keep carrying, but my choices are limited. If Lucy knew everything, she’d risk her life for me. I can’t go through that kind of fear again. I still have nightmares from the time we were both shot, and she nearly died. She’s tiny but fearless and has no self-preservation when it comes to me.

Closing and locking the back door, I walk to the kitchen area. Spotting Ava, I walk to her, drop a kiss on her smiling cheek, then reach for a cinnamon roll. Taking a bite, my eyes nearly roll to the back of my head. Even after having eaten thousands of them, her cinnamon rolls still have this effect on me. To be honest, most foods do, though.

“Chubs loves Ava,” I state as I lift what’s left of my roll in a salute to her skills.

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