Page 22 of Cash

I hope you and him can forgive me some day.

P.

While I’m quickly working out the math, Axel asks, “Who the fuck is P?”

“Penny. We went out for a few months last year,” I answer.

I can barely push the words out of my throat because of the angry ball that’s residing there. That fucking, selfish bitch. Who does this to a baby? My baby! Holy fuck, I have a son. I blink several times to clear the red haze that’s coloring my eyesight and take a deep breath. I take another to help calm my chaotic thoughts and raging emotions.

“I don’t remember a Penny,” Bailey says into the silent room.

“We didn’t go out for long. I never brought her around the club because I wasn’t sure we’d stick. She turned out to be shallow, selfish. Guess this proves just how selfish she was.”

“I hate to ask this, but is he even yours? Is there a chance he’s not?” Axel asks.

“Timing is right. Don’t know if I was the only one she was sleeping with or not. I was always careful, but shit happens.”

“DNA test, Cash. You have to know before you decide what you’re going to do with him,” Pooh says.

“What he’s going to do with him? What the hell does that mean, Pooh? He’s a baby whose mom abandoned him! Someone needs to step up and care for him! If you—”

“Calm, Taja. Calm down, honey. Pooh didn’t mean—” Vex interrupts while pulling Taja tighter to him.

The interruptions continue when I cut Vex off mid-sentence.

“He’s mine to take care of now.”

“That’s admirable of you Cash, but what if he’s not yours?” Bailey asks carefully.

“Does it matter? Bella isn’t really Petey and Trudy’s, and yet she is. Craig isn’t really Pooh and Pippa’s, but does that matter to them? Or to any of us? No, not in the least.”

“I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, but what if he has a dad out there somewhere?” Axel asks.

“If so, then Penny must have had a reason to give the baby to me and not him. I’ll cross that bridge if I have to but for now, he’s mine,” I state firmly.

“I’ll, I mean we’ll, take him,” Taja whispers hopefully, eyes locked on the infant.

“Baby, no. We can’t…” Vex starts to say.

“Thank you, Taja. I mean that because I know you’d give him a great life. But he’s mine, and he’s my responsibility,” I reply while watching huge tears well up in her eyes and spill over.

“Can I help you at least?” she begs softly.

“I’m going to need a lot of help, honey. I’d appreciate any help I can get. Are you sure you’re ready though?” I question just as softly.

There’s a moment of silence, and I watch as Taja physically pulls herself together. Her face calms, and her body relaxes when her eyes meet mine.

“Yeah, I’m ready, Cash.”

“Taja, are you sure?” Vex asks while turning her around to look at her face.

“I think I need to do this, Vex. He deserves to be surrounded by people whodowant him. He should be raised knowing that he was never a burden or an obligation. The club will give him that, and I want to be a part of it too. It’s time for me–us–to move forward. I can do this.”

After another moment of silence, Vex says, “Looks like you’re a dad now Cash, and you’re going to get more help than you’ll probably want. Promise you won’t become the fucking nut job Axel is, though. The club, the world, can only handle one of those at a time.”

“I rock this dad shit, and you know it. I’m the OG of dads. Need advice, Cash, I’m your go-to person,” Axel spouts indignantly as we all expected him to.

The tension in the room’s broken, and all eyes turn back to the infant in my arms. He’s still laying there, staring up at me. I don’t see any resemblance to me at all, but I also think all babies look the same. Tiny, wrinkled, angry, little beings that cast spells on adults.

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