Page 21 of Vex

I slide an arm under Taja’s shoulders and curl her into my side. Her hand lands on my abs and starts lightly tracing them. Her leg lays across one of mine and we’re full on front to side. I turn my head and lay a soft kiss on the top of her head. When she looks up at me, I lay another on her mouth.

We lay quietly for several minutes before I carefully pull my arm out from under her head. I reach down, remove the condom and Taja takes it out of my hand and drops it in the wastebasket on her side of the bed. I don’t hesitate in pulling her back to my side. I roll so we’re facing each other and run my hand gently through her hair. It’s long, soft and I like the feel of it.

Taja inches closer so we’re touching from chest to toes and pushes her face into my pec. I feel a soft kiss laid there, and it tugs on something low in my gut. I instantly push that feeling aside and concentrate on just having a beautiful woman’s body pressed to mine. That, I can handle. Emotions—not so much.

Moments later, Taja slips from my arm, pulls her shirt and panties on and walks out of the room. I know it’s time for me to make my exit, but I’m not ready to call it a night. I need more of her sweet body before our time together is over. It’s not long before she walks back in and settles next to me again. I give it a beat and then pounce. I grin when I hear her small squeak at having my body suddenly sprawled on hers, but it’s not long before it’s moans and gasps I’m hearing. My grin disappears, stripping her clothes back off her, and I get down to business.

I wake slowly and am momentarily confused as to where I am. I look down and find myself curled around Taja’s back with my arm wrapped around her waist. I’m stunned to realize I’m cuddling her and that I’m still in her bed. Unprecedented territory for me. I’m hit with an urgent need to get the fuck out of here. I need to make tracks and not look back. I need to get back to who I am and not this guy.

With that in mind, I carefully pull away from Taja’s sleeping form. I carefully cover her nakedness with her comforter and exit the bed. As I’m quietly, but hurriedly, getting dressed, I notice something odd. The string of condoms I tossed on the bed earlier are now on the floor, and there’s only one missing. What the hell? My stomach drops when I realize what that means. I never, and I mean never, have had sex without a condom. Ever. And the proof that I did this time, more than a few times in fact, is staring back at me. I’m clean and I’m sure Taja is too. That’s not my concern. I don’t want kids, never have wanted them. How the hell did I forget to wear a condom tonight? Fuck me.

I pick the condoms up, shove them in my hip pocket and pull out my wallet. I toss a fifty-dollar bill on Taja’s nightstand to pay for the morning after pill and leave her room. I’m unsettled about this fuck up. I only have myself and my greed for Taja to blame. I have to chat with her about this but right now I need to get gone.

Chapter 11

Taja

I laid listening to Vex getting dressed and then leaving the house. I woke when he did and felt his entire body stiffen. I stayed still to avoid the awkwardness of watching him panic about still being here. I know the kind of man he is when it comes to women, so I’m not surprised at his rush to leave. A little hurt that he couldn’t wait to be rid of me, but I knew what I was getting into from the start. He never lied about that. I respect him for that more than I respect myself at the moment. I tossed all my morals aside for half a night with a gorgeous guy. A guy I knew was going to walk away immediately after. And worse yet, I don’t feel regret at my decision. Vex was amazing and being with him was more so. I toss my hand up behind me, switch my lamp off and, with a small smile on my face, drift back to sleep.

“Taja!” I hear at the same time as Tessie lands on my mattress with a bounce and a giggle.

“Go away, brat. We’ll talk after I shower and have coffee,” I tell her with my head still buried against my pillow.

“I’m going to bounce on your bed until you sit up and listen to me,” Tessie threatens.

I realize I’m still naked, and I know she’s not bluffing. Shit to hell and back.

“Go make coffee while I take a quick shower. Then we’ll talk,” I order her.

“Okay, but you have ten minutes, and I’ll be back up here,” she states as she jumps up and rushes out of the room.

I quickly scramble out of bed and grab my fuzzy robe. I waste no time in heading directly to the shower.

While showering, I notice a small amount of blood on my thigh. Instead of sadness, I grin a little at why it’s there. I hurry through my shower and brushing my teeth before heading back to my bedroom. I flip on the overhead light and make my way to my dresser. After getting dressed, I turn to exit the room when I spot something on the nightstand. Walking toward it, I feel my stomach plummet. No, please don’t be what I already know that it is. I pick up the fifty-dollar bill like it’s a hot piece of coal and toss it into the drawer. Hiding it isn’t going to take away the cheapness I suddenly feel about last night, though. I feel heat and wet hit my eyes, but I shove that shit down hard. I swallow the lump in my throat the best I can and drop down hard on my bed. The bed that still smells like Vex, me and sex.

Why would he think he needed to pay me for sex? I frantically think back over our conversations, and I can’t remember anything I’d have said that would indicate I was for sale. Or that I’m a prostitute for Christ sakes! Holy Mother of God, is that what he thinks of me? I wasn’t much of a challenge for him, that’s true. I doubt many women are. But I chose to be with Vex because I liked him. Not for money. I feel sick to my stomach, and I feel cheap. All the good thoughts about last night are gone, and I’m suddenly ashamed of myself and my actions. Anger burns deep in my gut, but it’s only at myself. In my inexperience, I didn’t know all the rules to the game. Vex didn’t use me or steal my virginity. He paid for it with cold hard cash. Not sure I could hate myself more than I do in this moment.

“Taja! Coffee’s on!” Tessie shouts pulling me out of my thoughts.

I stand, square my shoulders and plaster a smile on my face. Tessie must never know what happened and how far I fell. I’m supposed to be her role model now that Mom’s gone. Oh my God—Mom.

“Please don’t be too disappointed in me, Mom. I’ll do better. Promise,” I whisper as I leave the room.

After giving me my coffee, Tessie lets me know she doesn’t want to go to college and lays out the plan she and Trigger came up with. She was hesitant at first, but her excitement quickly took over. I never meant for her to feel like she had to go to college. I just want her to be happy and loving what she does for a living. As Tessie’s explaining, her smile grows.

“So, see, it’s the perfect solution to everything!” Tessie nearly bellows at me in her excitement.

While I love her enthusiasm and seeing her smile, I’m numb from top to toe. I’m not near as positive her idea’s as good of one as she is. My first instinct was to scream no! My second was to scream hell no! But I need to be rational about this and not let my emotions concerning Vex interfere.

“You’ve explained everything, Tessie, but I need time and more coffee to process it. Let me think about it, okay?”

“What’s there to think about? It’s perfect! Trigger said you should come and meet him and Petey since they’ll be the ones looking out for me. They’re freaking fantastic guys, Taj! Ask Suki! And you already know Freddy and Vex. You met Chubs. Does he look like a serial killer? No! Please, Taj, puuulllleeeeeese!” she says while giving me her big eyes.

“I’m not saying yes or no. I’m saying let me think about it. And I will speak with Suki for sure.”

“While you’re thinking, remember this. School’s still out for the summer and next week I turn sixteen. A lot of the girls in my class are getting jobs,” Tessie adds with a sly grin. There goes my argument about keeping her grades up. At least for now anyway.

“I just never wanted you to have to work so young,” I tell her quietly.

---