Page 97 of Pooh

He jumps up and down a few times and then grabs my hand and starts dragging me toward the little shelter he just came from. He’s so excited I can feel him vibrating. We walk in and I see a volunteer standing near a small, solid wood fence at the back.

“This way, Pooh. I picked my pet! I really, really want him! And you promised!”

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“Why on earth did you let him pick that?” Pippa exclaims. “Is that even considered a pet?”

“We promised him he could pick what he wanted and I’m not going back on my word to him. He knows how to care for it and he’s happy with his choice. Jesus, Pippa, if you’d have seen his face when it was turned loose and it made a beeline for him and only him. You’d have given in too, woman. I’m not soft and I’m not a pushover, so wipe that look off your faces, you two!”

Ava snort giggles and Pippa sighs. Point goes to Craig. We’ve been bamboozled by a four-year-old but I have to admit that seeing his face light up is worth it all. He’s had too many promises broken to him by adults and I’m not joining that list. Even though I know the shit I’m going to catch from my club brothers.

When we pull into the clubhouse drive, Craig asks if we can stop at the clubhouse so he can show off his pet. I agree wholeheartedly and I wouldn’t miss this shit for the world. Ava and Pippa quickly agree, with giggles, so I know they’re thinking along the same lines as I am.

Walking into the clubhouse behind Craig, I look around and see most of the club lounging, drinking and watching a ball game on the TV. Trigger sees us first and starts walking in our direction when Craig sets the pet carrier on the floor and opens the door. Out waddles little Bart and it only takes a moment before chaos reigns at the Devil’s Angels clubhouse.

You see, little Bart is a skunk. A friendly, descented pet that someone no longer wanted but one a little boy fell instantly in love with. But why tell the men that descented piece of info when I’m enjoying the fuck out of watching them fall over themselves trying to escape? Even Loki took one look and bolted for the back door, tail between his legs. Craig’s giggles could have been heard a mile away.

I’m laughing my ass off at how fast Trigger can move when he’s motivated enough and that’s when I spot Axel, sound asleep on a couch, his head in Bailey’s lap. She’s grinning from ear to ear and I know she knows what’s about to happen.

Craig picks up Bart and cuddles him close and I point to Axel’s sleeping form. He grins and approaches the couch while Bailey carefully slides out from under Axel’s legs. She takes a moment to pet Bart and then moves to a safer position beside us and out of Axel’s sight. Craig gently places Bart on the couch near Axel and bolts to our side. While we’re patiently waiting, Gunner walks up next to us and smothers a laugh. He shakes his head, hugs his wife, and settles in for some good times.

Bart climbs onto Axel’s thighs and then proceeds to walk right up to his face. Craig is covering his mouth with both hands to not ruin this moment. Me and Ava have our phones out and are filming when Bart touches Axel’s nose with his own. Axel twitches but remains asleep. Bart repeats the action, and while I can’t see Axel’s eyes from this angle, I can spot his entire body going solid.

“Oh my fucking God. This can’t be real. No, no, no, no, no,” Axel says quietly probably so he doesn’t startle his new friend. Not a muscle moves, not even a twitch. “Bad dream, bad dream. That’s all this is. Bad dream.”

“Anyone in here? Guys? Bailey? Dad? Anyone? What the fuck. Where are you guys? Somebody please, fucking please, help a brother out,” he continues in the softest voice I’ve ever heard come from his mouth.

At this point, Mac strolls past us and flutters up to the back of the couch. I’m sure Axel about soiled his boxers thinking Mac’s quick movements were going to get him blasted to hell and back.

“Hey, Assman. What up?” Mac shrieks extra loud and I’m positive that was on purpose.

“Mac. Be very quiet, buddy. Okay? No fast movements, no loud noises or you’ll startle it and we’ll both get sprayed,” Axel whispers.

“Birds can’t smell. Spray away!” Mac screeches and this time I can see Axel visibly cringe. Bart walks a circle on Axel’s chest and settles in for a nap with the bad end of him closest to Axel’s face.

“Mac, buddy, I’m fucking begging you. Please. I’ll buy you cashews until I’m broke if you’ll just go get someone. Ava. Get Ava. She’s good with animals. She’ll know what to do. Loki too. Please, Mac.”

At this point, Craig slowly slides down until his butt is on the floor and his entire body is shaking but not a sound comes from him. I look over to see Trigger and Tammy in the doorway glaring at me but when they see Axel’s predicament, those frowns get turned upside down fast.

“Loki ran,” Mac informs Axel, gleefully.

“Loki ran? God hates me. First my name and now a skunk. What the fuck. Listen Mac. We’re friends. I need…”

“Besties?”

“Yeah, fucking besties, Mac. Now I…”

“BFFs?”

“Mac. I swear to…”

Mac starts whistling “The Star Spangled Banner” while walking up and down the back of the couch flapping his wings.

“Okay, okay, okay. BFFs. Please, for all that is holy, be quiet,” Axel whisper shouts to Mac. Bart wiggles around a little and I’m positive now that Axel may need a diaper change.

I help Craig to his feet and send him Axel’s direction to end his torture. When Bailey sees this, she makes a mad grab for Craig but misses. Now it’s her that’s glaring daggers at me. Guess I shouldn’t have ruined a pregnant woman’s fun.

“Hey, Axel,” Craig says nonchalantly as he stops next to the couch.

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