Page 8 of Pooh

“Turn around!”

“Why?”

“You’ll find it!” squawks Mac.

I saw that one coming. Axel leaves the door open and Mac slams it shut. Point goes to the bird.

“Okay, you two. Sorry to interrupt your stimulating conversation, but I need to ask Axel a question,” I say.

“Hey, Pooh. What’s up?” Axel asks.

“What kind of Xbox games would a boy about four years old like to play?”

“Should I be offended that you think I would know that answer?”

“Probably should be. Hell, we’d all think you’d be the one to know that answer,” interjects Petey, laughing.

“Why do you need to know this?” Axel asks.

I explain to them about New Horizons and Craig. By the time I’m done explaining, I have a larger audience than I started with. Gunner, Ava, Vex and Chubs have all sidled up to the bar and are listening, too.

“We should go to a toy store and get him Xbox games, but also some other things to keep him busy,” suggests Vex.

“That’s a great idea. But get some stuff that’s educational too. And snacks. Little boys love snacks,” adds Chubs. We all chuckle at that comment since Chubs is a food whore. He grins at us. Yeah, big boys like snacks too.

“Go by the bakery and take whatever you think he’d like. Also take some treats for the women staying there,” adds Ava.

“Take me! Take me!” shouts Mac.

“Why would he fucking take you, Mac?” questions Axel.

“Peeps love me!”

“No, they don’t!” responds Axel.

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do t…”

“Stop! Both of you! You’re giving me heartburn! Axel, go with Pooh. You’re the most childlike of any of us. Help him pick out some stuff for the kid. Vex, you go to make sure those two morons don’t get arrested again for something stupid,” orders Gunner.

“Hey!” I protest. “We haven’t been arrested for anything in over two years!”

“This toy store isn’t in the mall, is it?” asks Vex.

“No, why?” asks Ava.

“Because both have been banned for life from the mall,” answers Petey, grinning.

“Do I dare ask why?” inquires Ava.

“Let’s just say that Build-A-Bear stores all have these two’s pictures on their ‘Not Allowed’ list. It appears that the manager didn’t find it near as funny as Axel and Pooh when they found condoms in the bears’ wallets, lube in the purses and found several bears placed in compromising positions. Heads up skirts, hands down jeans. They were asked, not so nicely, to leave. Cops were called. They left the mall but decided to take a piss on the cop car tires. Arrests were made. Bail was made. They’ve been banned for life,” explains Petey, with a sigh and a sad shake of his head.

“We may have had a little too much to drink that day,” I add.

“That’s putting it mildly. Axel didn’t know his own name for two days,” snorts Vex.

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