Page 29 of Never Say Yes To Your Fake Husband

“Like right now?”

“Maybe we should go find them and just sell them some kind of story they’d believe. We could rehearse it and get it straight. Tell them there’s no need to doubt us.”

“Like right now?” Sterling repeats.

“They’re probably just lingering around. I doubt they’ve gone far.”

“We’ve been standing here for so long that all the blood has disappeared from my feet. If we ran after them, my toes would probably snap off.”

“Dear god, is that actually a thing?” I want to laugh. Despite everything, I actually want to laugh. Even Sterling’s eye twitch isn’t so bad right now.

“I’m not sure. I hope not. I don’t want to have to shake the bloody stumps out of my shoes.”

“Seriously, that’s a mental picture if I’ve ever seen one, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard about a lot of really crazy things. The internet is a blessing and a curse. Blessing and a curse.” I pause. The crunching noises from the kitchen have stopped. “We could always fake a pregnancy.” At that, Sterling’s jaw drops. “I’m kidding. That was seriously just a joke. I would never do that. And speeding up the wholelet’s see if we can make this a real marriagething by actually getting pregnant for real isn’t…that’s just…I can’t do that. Not to us, not to my family, not to me, and not to the poor child.”

“No, of course not. We’ll come up with something. Just give me…give me a few minutes to think. Or a few hours.”

“Well, for one, we shouldn’t be staying in separate places. That doesn’t really make sense. You need to get rid of that hotel room.”

To his credit, he doesn’t wince even though he must not relish the prospect of sharing the couch with a farty dog. Beans is less farty now that the probiotics are kicking in, so I guess there’s that.

“Also, I think I need to keep a regular routine. Talk to Smitty about getting someone to watch the place. I like that idea. But discreetly, of course. Even if your cousins found out about the guy, it makes sense. You have lots of money. You wouldn’t go just anywhere without some kind of protection or something. And you wouldn’t leave me unprotected.”

“I could just straight up tell them that they’re not welcome to harass you or interfere in your life with their crazy ideas and that there will be security around the place.”

I blink at him. “You know, that kind of truth is probably best. Whatever small truths we can tell, we should go for it.”

A dark shadow passes behind Sterling’s eyes. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He looks even sorrier that those words just fell out, but there’s no taking them back.

“It was a necessity. For both of us. I got what I wanted, and I’m going to make sure you don’t lose the company. So many people depend on you. I’m going to play this game if I have to play it, just for them. Because they have lives and families that don’t deserve to be destroyed over your cousins’ petty jealousies, which I don’t even understand. If you’ve offered to buy them out and give them tons of money, I really don’t know what this is about other than the most ridiculous jealousy and them one-upping you any way they can.”

“I think even just a little bit of jealousy is often enough for people to do incredibly irrational things.”

I barely resist giving Sterling the hug he so desperately needs—that we both probably desperately need—and apologizing to him again that he had to grow up with those people. I know his aunt probably did the best for him that she could, and things could have been much worse if he didn’t have any family to go to, but still. I want to tell him that I’m sorry he didn’t have parents like my mom and dad. That he didn’t have a brother like mine. That he didn’t have those bonds and love and kindness and goodness. But I don’t say it because it’s not going to help. Right now, I need tough Weland to make an appearance. I need my game face on.

“Okay, so get rid of the hotel, spend the night here, and we’ll brainstorm?”

“I’ll get rid of it right now. I’ll send Smitty to send someone there to collect my things. I just have to make a few calls. It’s probably best if I don’t leave here. He can hold my stuff and drop it off with the security detail when they come and meet with us.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll make cookies. We can give them to your cousins as a peace offering,” I say.

“Are cookies code for turd brownies?”

I frown. “Gah! What are turd brownies?”

“Never mind. You don’t have a cat. But we can collect Bean’s biscuits and bag them up and…”

“I’m pretty sure that’s actually a federal offense,” I say with a laugh.

“I never said we’d put it on their doorstep or light them on fire.”

“You did kind of mean you wanted those biscuits baked into cookies. I’m sure fecal cookies are strictly prohibited by more than one law, not to mention the idea is completely and utterly revolting.”

“Okay, bad joke. I’m sorry.”

“I have a strong stomach. I just hoped you were kidding.”

“I was kidding,” Sterling says. “I’m not about stooping to their level. One can only wish.”

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