Page 88 of Missing

It’s going to be a very long day.

When I dropped Chase off, Shawna assured me they wouldn’t be leaving the house, then added “I’d be happy to send you updates throughout the day if it’d ease your mind.”

She understood my anxiousness at leaving Chase for the first time. She didn’t know it’d be the first time he’d be more than a few feet away from me since he crashed into me in the cabin driveway almost a week ago.

We agreed to hourly text updates, at least for this week. I hoped to need them less frequently as we returned to our normal schedules.

“Thanks.” I kissed Chase goodbye, and reluctantly left for work.

I wasn’t my normal happy-go-lucky self, but I did my best to put a smile on my face and add cheer to my voice for thecustomers. During a lull, Mary sent Amber to clean the dining room and asked me what was wrong.

“I’m just nervous about Chase.”More half-truths.

“And?” she asked. “I know you well enough to know there’s more to this.” She drew a circle in the air in front of my face.

“I broke up with Doug last night.”Do not cry. Do not cry.My tear ducts didn’t get the message.

“Oh Beth.” Mary hugged me before asking, “What happened? I thought things were going well.”

“I’m too old for him.”

“Did he say that?” There was a hint of protective anger in Mary’s tone.

“No, but he wants kids, and I’m too old.” I had zero control over the tears spilling down my face.

Mary took my arm and led me to the break room. “Amber, we’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Amber answered without taking her eyes off the sweetener packets she was refilling.

Mary patiently listened while I told her what happened, including the part about me not letting him get a word in edge-wise.

Then she asked the tough question, “Do you love him?”

“I think I might.” I wiped my face on a napkin. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want him to end up miserable because he gave up his chance to have a family.”

“Beth, why are you assuming he’d be miserable? If the two of you got married, you and Chase would be his family.”

“What if that’s not enough for him?” Could it be enough? Why was I so convinced it couldn’t be?

“Why don’t you ask him, instead of assuming.” Mary’s Mama Bear tough love wasn’t just for her kids.

I had made a mess of things and totally, one hundred percent, deserved it. I laughed, not a chuckle or a giggle. More of a cackle.

I sound like I’ve lost my mind.

“What?”

“Nothing.”Just tell her. “I was just thinking I probably deserve the Mama Bear treatment.”

“Only because I love you and want you to be happy.”

“Thanks. I love you too.”

“Do you want to take the rest of the day off?” Mary asked.

“No, I need to get through a ‘normal’ day and the sooner I do it, the better.” I picked up my phone and smiled at the text message from Angela. She’d included a close-up picture of Chase laughing. I showed it to Mary.

“If my five-year-old son can get through the day, then so can I.”

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