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“Any time. You know we love both of you and we’ll always be here for you.” Mary patted my arm.

“I know. And you guys know I’m here for you too.”

She nodded. “How are things with Doug?”

“He’s been a lifesaver. Staying over at night so we feel safe, feeding us. Did I tell you he surprised us with lunch on Friday?” I could feel my smile growing as I talked about it. “He’s been so helpful.”

“Mm hmm.” Mary looked at me with a wicked grin and one eyebrow raised.

I laughed. She knew me too well. “Okay, okay. It’s been nice having him around, period. It feels good to have someone look out for us.”

She looked at John before answering, “I know.”

John and Mary. Mary and John. I couldn’t imagine either of them without the other. They challenged each other daily, often driving each other crazy, but they loved each other completely.It didn’t matter how big of a fight they were having—if you went after one of them, you’d face both. John liked to say he was the protector of the family, but everyone knew you didn’t mess with Mamma Bear Mary.

Would it have been like that for Phil and I? Can have something like it with Doug?

I shook my head to clear it. Dwelling about the past and worrying about the future wasn’t going to change the present. In the present, all I wanted to do was spend time with my precious son.

Chapter 40

Doug

When Chase invited me to dinner Sunday night, I hesitated.Is he inviting me with or without his mom’s consent?It was a big deal for me to have dinner with them, and I didn’t want to overstep if Beth wasn’t ready yet.

Maybe I should decline. I didn’t want to disappoint Chase, but it’d be worse for him if we got close and Beth left me. It’d suck for me too; I was already attached.

I looked at Beth, half hoping she’d shake her head no or give me some other indication it wasn’t a good idea. Not that I didn’twant to have dinner with them, but I hadn’t found a good time to bring up my inability to reproduce.

She nodded. If I wanted to get out of dinner, it was all on me.

I stayed.

Beth cooked a simple meal of cheeseburgers and mac and cheese. She tried to apologize, explaining they were Chase’s favorite foods.

“Who doesn’t like mac and cheese, right?” I took a big bite and smiled.

“It’s my favorite.” Chase said with a mouthful, spitting food in his enthusiasm.

“Chase, please don’t talk with your mouth full. I’m sure Mr. Doug doesn’t want to wear your half-chewed dinner.” She corrected him.

Chase was on his best behavior the rest of the meal.

I was on my best behavior too. More than once I caught myself before a swear word slipped past my lips. The last thing I wanted to do was upset Beth by having a potty mouth in front of Chase the first time we had dinner together.

I could get used to this,having dinner like a family. I shoved the thought to the back of mind knowing it was stupid to think about it before talking to her.

Which I planned to do tonight, after Chase was asleep. It had to be tonight, because the longer I waited, the harder it got.

I’d spent the last three nights on her couch, wishing our relationship had progressed to the point I could stay in her bed. Of course, given the circumstances, it was probably a bad idea since she’d told me Chase had ended up in her bed every night since being rescued.

I wanted to spend the night with Beth, but wasn’t ready to freak out her son if he found me there.Hell, he still doesn’t know I’m sleeping on the couch.

It’s probably for the best.She may not want to see me anymore after I confess my shortcomings.

I told myself I’d calmly accept her decision. If she turned me away, I’d do my best to make sure things weren’t too awkward at SSI and Grannie’s.

Because, unless I quit my job and left Weatherford, there was no way Beth and I wouldn’t run into each other once in a while.

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